Chapter 4 – Results Day
Luckily it is Thursday today and I don’t have to work. Hubby who has been wonderful so far despite still having to go to his late mum’s house every day to sort that out for sale at the end of the month. Did I omit to mention we had another worry/stress going on there? Hey ho, c’est la vie, the house will be gone in a week.
Sorry digressed there, back to the matter in hand. My husband finishes half day on a Thursday, so that is handy too, it means he can come with me and not take any time off work. Our childminder will have our son after school.
We get there and it is confirmed, we finally get to hear what I already knew in my heart, but it is still a shock that nothing or no-one can ever prepare you for. They explain treatment and the suggested medical opinion is chemotherapy, then conservation surgery, followed by radiotherapy. As is routine, they talk about all scenarios just in case they need to follow different paths, e.g. mastectomy.
As a bigger busted woman, I find myself joking a bit about how appealing breast reduction sounds or reconstruction to a smaller size. They either pretended to humour me or they thought I was mad. Then again I have already established that you need to keep a sense of humour and I convince myself that I am sure they understand and have heard it before.
We then meet with the Speciality Nurse again, albeit a different one this time. Back on that comfy sofa, I finally break down in my husband’s arms. I am so glad he is there and I notice he has a few tears too. We have a chat with the nurse after composing myself and we go and get our son as if nothing happened. At home I am still composed, even after confirming results to family and how things will happen. Yesterday was our son’s 8th birthday so have not told him yet. I will always remember September 2016.
Chapter 5 – Scans and Tests
After results day, today is ECG blood test and trying to arrange for removal of Mirena coil.
ECG and blood tests all get done by 11am, so I decide to go doctors to sort the coil. Nooo!! They are closing during the morning/early afternoon until 2pm for training. I know they need to do it, but it has rattled me it has to be today. After a major rant to myself and other disgruntled patients who may or may not be listening I try one of the other surgeries, but they are all closed for training. I go home angry and disappointed. I phone them later and arrange for one morning next week.
Back to work today Monday and my manager is also back from holiday. She has heard the news now and says she is so sorry to hear. I update her on my progress so far. Even though colleagues are finding out slowly, today is not too bad and everyone is very supportive.
Today is fire alarm test day for the annual drill. I get my son to the childminder at 7.45am so I can get to work at 8.15am. I don’t believe the traffic delays. I am on adrenaline by the time I get there, and the fire drill actually goes well. But I am mentally drained and struggled through the day.
Wednesday, coil removed this morning and nurse says about precautions. Think I know by now, but guess they have to say it. Sex is the last thing on my mind. We are not planning any more children luckily anyway. Back at work after doctors and it is not a good day. I have not managed to do a lot of the work I had hoped to do and expected to do. I have been left disappointed with myself. I broke down in tears and explained to my manager that I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. We got together and put a plan into place. It was agreed I would tidy up the smaller jobs to pave the way for my manager to take over. Being off work for a long time makes me feel guilty which I know is silly, but I hope they manage OK without me. I will be deciding soon when I am finishing.
Back to tests – I now know when my CT scans are. Appointments are also arranged for Oncologist and for MRI scan. It seems that I am nearly ready to go with treatment.
I now have a nice weekend to look forward to – a mini break!
