have counselling now first visit just gone, had back massage very nice. i hope it all it helps me to come to terms with steve gone. and get me trough the dark days ahead, i still feel i'm in a bubble. have bad/good days. we will be having family sessions to i need for me and the kids to open up to each other, as nothing has been said these last few weeks about steve dying. i know we all cope diffrently. i also need to hear that the kids are coping? i feel they don't show it so they don't upset me and vice versa. it feels like a long journey ahead hard to even think about getting back to work in march and carrying on without steve. but i suppose we have to start a chapter.
