Mum Has now joined Dad

I have not been a member of this site for to long, infact I think my first blog was just over 5 weeks ago. Mym became very ill this time last week and the Alzheimers took over my mum. Hopefully with this disease taking over mum would never know she had cancer. By Thursday of last week we had to move mum into a hospice where mum was heavily sedated, and Saturday morning mummy passed away. Yesterday we buried her and now we have a week of prayers. I spoke about mum last night at the prayers and just wanted to share this with you so you all have a little understanding how special my mum was. Keith sent me an email a few weeks ago which had one of those sloppy attachments to it. Usually I deleted them without even looking at them but somthing made me open this one The presentatation spoke about a person who was standing in a cemetery looking at a stone. He read the date of the birth and the date of the death, but what he found important was the dash in-between the dates. That dash represented the persons life. For tonight I would like to talk about mummy's dash , not so much about what she did in her life but her character, her strength her bravery Born 31st October 1931 DASH Died 17th January 2009 Mummys dash is not one where she changed the world or won awards but is one that affected a great number of people with her kind caring generous personality,, her time for people, her love for everyone but especially her love for her family and friends. So many of you in the last 24 hours have said what you will take from our mum is her smile and her laughter, and this is her trademark. The early memories mummy has told us about her life stats when she was evacuated during the war. Mum and Stanley , mums elder brother who she adored were sent to a farm where mum had to pick potatoes and played with the animals. They they were sent to Scotland where they spent a few years. Not many of you, infact I think only Sue and I were privy to mums Scottish accent, and when she got really angry at us the scots Joan would come out and so would the Gaelic telling off . I think sometimes Sue and I would try and get mum really angry just to hear this as we thought it was so funny. Mum always loved fashion and she managed to secure a job at Harrods as a trainee buyer.but this was only short lived as she had met our dad and once the engagement had been announced our grandmother insisted that she had to take a year off to get ready for the wedding. We have had many laughs with mum to actually try and work out what she did in that year of getting ready but she just does not know.. Mum got married on the 11th January 1959 and this year would have been her Golden Wedding . Mum stayed at home to look after Sue and I till we were both at secondary school and then went back into the fashion business.where she was in her element. In 1991 Daddy died, amd Mummy was heartbroken, her true love was taken, but even at that time of sorrow her concerns were for Susie and I to make sure that we were ok, mummy was selfless and always put other people before herself. In January 2006 mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, How many people do we know that woud acually laugh at themselves instead of getting angry and frustrated when they were continually told that they had asked that question 20 times or told us that story just 5 minutes earlier. But this was Mum, She would laugh and say, " Have i told you that " Mum accepted this disease and instead of becoming of becoming depressed and morose about the future was always looking at ways of helping herself. Mummy started art classes and discovered her love for painting. Mum was never a van gogh or a Renoir but if you look around the room we have left out some of her works. Another class mum took was creative writing and even had a few pieces published, Sue and I were brought up to go out and enjoy life and to achieve. When faced with a situation take on new challenges. Mummy always found the good in even the worse situation . When mum was told she had cancer, which may I tell you was on her birthday last October, she said ok I had a good life, no I don't want to know how long I have left, what bravery , what strength of character. Many of you here who knew mum knew her to be a funny kind loving lady but that is only a small part of mums character. I cant think of words that could really describe mum she was amazing - never had a bad word for anyone, never said a bad word to anyone always laughing and making anyone that came into her life feel welcomed and totally at ease. Mum would spend her life running to make sure that Sue and I , the son in laws and the apple of her eyes the special grandchildren Simon, Leanne and Matthew always had everything we needed and to make sure our life was always comfortable and that we were always happy Mum herself did not have an easy life but she never complained and always made the best of everything. Mum never saw her glass empty it was always overflowing and for those of you you who knew her for once I am not talking about the wine. The last few weeks were very difficult for the family and so many of you were so supportive to Sue and I and the family that it made it easier to get up each morning and face the difficulties of the day , and this week gave us further challenges that tested the family to the limit , but something that we find so hard to explain is that in the last few hours of our mothers life there were many tears shed, but immediately after her passing there seemed to be this calm serenne sence of peace thats so difficult to explain but was beautiful and we all had smiles on our faces, and this is how our mother lived her life. The North London Hospice is an amazing place and helped mummy to retain her pride and dignity right to the very end. In the hall we have left a donation box/gift cards if you would like to support the ir cause. We actually found out that for every 3 out of 4 pateints they look after 3 of them have been paid for by doantions. To everyone in this room, we are celebrating our mothers life , our mothers dash. Many of you here tonight knew our mother very well, I know you will always remember her always with the smile in her face and the laughter in her voice. . Sue and I , Tom and Keith Simon Leanne and Matthew are so lucky to have had the love of our mother. Mother in law and grandmother. Our lives will never be the same , the world has lost one very special Eshet chayil , a woman of worth but we know that Mummy and daddy are now reunited and will always be there to watch over all of us, I think of everyone on this site and wish you all a special day every day, I did not know to many of you but you are all so special. God bless you Beverley XXXX