Lung sclc, now glands, now in neck. plz advise? sooo depressed.
1 minute read time.
FormerMember
hi, i was diagnosed with small cell lung in feb, they aid it was 2cm and i had a good chance of a cure, with a clinical trial called converse. i did al the tests, the scans etc.. they said i was fit enougth to take it. the word cure, made me feel eurphoric, i was so pleased. then the body scan results camr back and aid i had cancer in a gland on /near my kidneys, and the trial was out the window, i was devastated as i had already told my family the so called good news. then i developed a lump on my neck, they would not confirm what it was nor still havn't, so i asked the ultimate question, how long approx do i have? with chemo approx 2yr, without 6 month. came the answer. so they picked me up and dropped me like a hot brick in a couple of days. they cannot operate. had first lot of chemo today 18th , i am so depresed, i get approx 4 hr sleep a night, is it worth it? why me? when will i ever accept this? i dont mind being dead, its just i don't want my 4 children to suffer (all grown) i also have 6 g/children i am 50yr old, and feel robbed. i feel i have betrayed them, let them down cos of smoking. i hate the chemo, i feel like a bag of pills. i cannot take this in, cannot tell my children that they say 2yr . they sre to pleased with original word of cure. why are thet torturing me? i am so sorry this is a depressing blog. but i have had enough! i cant accept this invasion. i hate going to christies (manchester). firdt day and feel nausea, please does anyone have any encouragement that will ease my anguish? i am so desperate.
FormerMember
The truth will not set you free of this, but it might help your family and kids to understand what you are going through. No one, despite oodles of degrees, can say when you will die, even approximately.
My friend has small cell lung cancer spread to her liver, and lymph glands, and was given 3 months over 7 months ago. She had 3 rounds of chemo, and responded well, and just baked me my 50th b'day cake, partying fairly heartily!
Full grown children (adults), would probably want to know what you are going through, just my take on it anyway. Uncertainty breeds stress.
I am no expert on Cancer or kids, having none of my own. Sounds like you suffer tho, and should continue to talk, communicate your feelings on here, if no where else.
I am a smoker today, wishing I could find the balls to quit, I've lost so many Loved ones to this.
Tho I'm not really religious, I will include bettyboo, in my prayers tonight. I wish I could do more cuz yer words touched me.
My Mum has SCLC, she is responding well to treatment, but I'm not stupid. I am more than aware that only very rarely do people survive beyond 5 years with this particular cancer.
Your children will have accessed the internet and probably are aware of the truth, I can recommend speaking to them about it.
It must be horrendous, I'm thinking of you and wish you all the luck in the world xxxx
Please dont feel sad, my mum has SCLC, diagnosed in feb 09, she has just had her second lot of chemo, they said six lots should do it? then maybe some radio. Her cancer is inoperable so the chemo is too prolong her life. Speaking as a daughter i would urge you to be honest with your children, my mum has been so open with me and my sisters( i have 2 sisters,) we can share every moment,good and bad with her( last week i shaved my mums hair for her, i was in tears as i done it but who else could do such a personal thing for her. ,( i wanted to share that with her), your daughters will want to share it all with you,knowing the truth really does hurt ,but not knowing hurts even more. Not everyone will want to look things up on the internet, my sister found it too difficult, so her knowledge comes from my mum.
My mum smoked and gave up 7yrs ago, i smoked and gave up 7wks ago. Its not easy. I dont blame the ciggies or my mum. Its not about blame, thats past, look to the future, live day by day.
If you are not slepping get some pills from the doc, my mum did, she sleeps better now.
The chemo, is very tiring for my mum, especially days 10 onwards, so we make a effort to go out and spend time doing nice things when she feels good. You must be sure to take all the tablets they send you home with. These will get you through it. My mum says if she feels like s*** taking them , then what would she feel like if she didn't.
I also am finding this website a real help, as i am sure you will, please encourage your daughters to have a look. It is a real outlet. Somewhere to air all your troubles and seek support.
your blog really touched me . i am so sorry that you have had this bad news the same thing happened to my dad he was told it was cureable then a week later told it was no longer has he had devoloped hicups.i urge you to tell your children dad was honest with us from the start & when i got breast cancer last year my children came to appointments with me my youngest was then 15 . they will want to know what is happening with you & won't want you to feel so alone. writting down your feelings do help there are many people on here who have & continue to defie the odds .sending you lots of love n hugs theresa xx
Aw Betty, I was so sorry to hear of your plight. I also have advanced lung cancer. I can honestly say that I know what you are going through. I was disgnosed in June 07 & It came as a huge shock to me as well. (You can read my profile) Have you ben offered a Macmillen nurse? They are a great source of information & will help with most of the problems that you are experiencing. Please accept my sincere best wishes & let ua know how you are getting on. Love Lyn.xx
