June 2010 my daughter and I are talking about June 2011 when within a week of each other I would be 60 and she 30. Lets make it a special year and plan lots of treats.
It started well Prague for new year, Turkey for Easter, Spain with the girls in May various theatre and concerts including Take That.
Whilst this was going on I went for a routine smear test I never miss them and they had always been clear.
I had a phone call in March from my GP re abnormal smear to go to the local hospital for a colposcopy. I was not unduely worried. I saw the consultant and he "saw and treated". I returned a week later and he said that was it but they would recall me in 6 months
In May I had a letter telling me that the MDT thought it prudent to do a cone biopsy. THis was June and we were off to Paris had various parties planned and Spa weekend. I managed to fit in the pre op appointment the day after my birthday on 15th June and carried on with the celebrations.
I went into hospital supposidly as a day patient on 30th June but stayed overnight because of my reaction to the anaesthetic. My consultant told me to return to his outpatients depo in 2 weeks but that he thought it would be good news.
One week later his secretary asked if I could go in the next day. I was suspicious as to why my appointment had been brought forward and expressed my concern to my hubby. Nevertheless I went to the appointment on my own and was "gob smacked" to learn I had cancer.
We live near the hospital so I walked home I was absolutely numb. When I got to our house I just broke down and my hubby could not get any sence out of me.(thats not unusual)
I continued to be very "needy" over the weekend not wanting to be on my own. On Monday 11th July my GP rang me and was very helpfull. I rang the Macmillan nurse but she was on holiday for a week.
Then quite irrationally the most important thing was going on the holiday we had booked for 23rd July. I rang the consultant who liaises with the regional centre to ask when my scan would be and to ask if my holiday plans could be fed into the MDT
Following the MTD on 14th July the consultant rang me explaned what had happened at the MTD, gave me my date for MRI scan and said that I had been refered to St Marys hospital in Manchester as surgery would be my most likely opption and that my consultant there knew about my holiday plans. If they find anything on the scan I will be refered to Christies in Manchester
The Macmillan nurse rang me Monday 18th and said that my hospital appointment is for 21st at 9.45 in Manchester my scan is at midday at our local hospital
So that is where I am. I have been on the chat sometimes I find it scary and the people incredably brave and sometimes I am given hope with peoples stories.
I know I will need lots of courage when I come back especially when I get my scan results. I feel I am no longer in control of my life.
The ironic thing is after 35 years working as a nurse, midwife, Health Visitor and Senior manager I took early retirement so that I could go back to my routes and see patients. I have worked on a sessional basis in sexual health doing contraception and CYTOLOGY. Never thought I would be the one with abnormal results.
