Hi Guys,
Today has been a real tough day, missing dad never gets any easier and I wish i could just hear his voice, his whistle or see his gorgeous blue eyes looking at me or she his huge hands hogging the remote, the endless wants and needs are endless.
It was one of my good friends dads funeral today also and I couldnt go because the loss of my dad and his funeral is still so raw, she understood but I still felt terrible, she couldnt be with me at my dads funeral either because she was anxious about the realisation of the inevitable (today). We can be there for one another now I guess but it drenched it all back up (not that it ever goes anywhere mind you).
Missing him is such pain and it feels like I am forever searching, for something, everything, anything......I just miss him.
Me x
FormerMember
Hi Becky love, It is so heartrending reading what you are going through because it make me realise how my own family must feel about the loss of their dad. It is indeed and endless search for our own needs and wants and that is ok. You are a human being and you will feel with all your being the deep sadness and loss following your father's death. Your friend will understand your inability to go to her father's funeral. There will always be something that will dredge up memories you want to hide away but hopefully inj time the memories will be good ones. He is, was and always will be your precious and much loved dad. Always remember that honey x x x Love and angel hugs x x x Tricia x x x
My heart goes out to you Becky, and your friend so understands how you feel about not going to the funeral,
I had to go to my stepbrothers funeral last September and it nearly destroyed me as all I could think about was my beautiful sister who is also terminally ill. She also went and I wish she didn't have to put herself through that, but she wanted to go.
All you can do is take each day as it comes, you made me cry, I can't say anymore just send you my love and lots of hugs.
Hi Becky, felt really sad for you reading your blog. I lost my little granddaughter in February, aged 4 days and even now I find it so hard looking at her photos. Time is a great healer they say, and I'm sure it is. We never forget, I think the really raw pain just lessens. Just take one day at a time and you and your friend support each other as best you can. Please know that I am thinking about you, Christine xx
Thank you for your lovely comments, reading my blog again today now I have calmed down a bit make me realise I was in another one of those "blind panic" states of mind...sometimes its just too huge to handle and the missing him is agony.
Its quite hard because I have to be brave (sometimes way over the top brave) when I am with mum and my sister becasue they need my support, also at work I have to be strong so sometimes it just all comes to a head at night because I am supressing my grief so much.
Its nice to know you all understand in your own ways....although I wish you didnt, its just so awful.
My hugs, kisses and thoughts are with you all also
