Just took hubby to the station for his early train into work. He looked awful and the lingering smell of last night's dinner in the kitchen made him feel very nauseous. It is now day 6 of the first round of chemo. Tomorrow he has to go to the hospital to have the chemo bag changed for another week and then he will have two weeks off.
As I watched him walk towards the platform, I could have wept. He walks slowly and with effort, but he is determined to not let the side effects get the better of him - this is another side of the chemo I had not expected. I knew from my experiences with my mother that there was likely to be nausea, loss of hair and lack of energy, but when I look at this strong man being held in the fist of the cancer and treatment, I am crying.
I am so so distressed I can hardly see my computer screen through the tears and I just want to make it all go away and I know I cannot.
Today feels like a bad day, but I know I must get it together before too much longer, as my strength is becoming his rock and his support and I cannot let him down.
thank you Macmillan for giving me this page to just let it out and I am sure I will be fine soon.
