off drug trail

Don't worry about it being Christmas - I found myself one minute singing along to the car radio today - then the next minute I was in tears remembering the utter horror we have been through this year. It's such an emotive time. Moan as much as you want - I'll always listen!

Jeanie xx

i am so sorry you have had such a bad day. It is so hard to look at the positive but at least they have put him back on sutent. they are still trying.And it may work this time.  Its so draining and the doctors do seem to change their minds about things.

it is so hard. i really wish i could say something to make you feel better or do something to change the situation. No one deserves to go through this.

Don't punish yourself for having low times, you will find the strength from somewhere but maybe not today.

i will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

take care of yourself. x

Hi, just reading your post, reminds me of stuff we went through with my Dad. it's so difficult when you go off a trial, because you pin your hope to it (my dad was bitten by a dog(!) and so had to come off sutent for a while to let it heal. scary times. I think you jsut have to think, tomorrow is a new day, and you don't know what they'll discover tomorrow. I'm sure this isn't very helpful (if someone had said it to me, I'm not sure I would have appreciated it), but often you just have to deal with what you've got... Best wishes to you and your family, take care

Hi, sorry I have not been in touch for a while but like you our journey started last Christmas and I could not deal with the reality that this site brings.  I just needed to be normal for a short time and enjoy the time that we had.  I never thought we would have this Christmas so feel very blessed.  Sorry I know that sounds selfish and I am sorry to hear that your dad has been taken off the trial.  I also understand the what next feeling, it is so hard wondering where life will take you and what will happen.  I totally understand the feeling that life has been thrown upside down and  there is no way of putting it back again.  I think we all have moments when we just need to crumble and stop being strong for a while so that we can pick ourselves back up and carry on.  I too have those moments when I want the world to just stop and I can have melt down for a while and try and process and deal with everything.  Everyone around expects that you get over things and life moves on, I hear people say all the time think yourself lucky that you got another Christmas but I want loads more with him and I want his life to be good and simple again without all the uncertainty.  I am sure you understand that feeling.  

Christmas for us was good but New Year was hard, I feel that there is a whole new roller coaster ride coming and dad seems scared of the journey that we have to go through again bless him, another year of unknowns and if's and but's.   His next appointment is in Feb so we wait and see.  Still not on drug trial and although he is eating better he is not having any treatment but we shall see.

Really sorry again that I have not been on the site.  Keep taking one day at a time and look after youself.  Becky xxx