How do i tell them?

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

13 Jul 2010

My son is starting to really notice how dad is going down hill, 3 weeks ago dad and mum were still picking him up from school, now he spends all day laying down - sometimes asleep sometimes awake. I heard him talking to his little sister last night - he'd been sick the night before and she asked him if she was getting better like guggy "guggy's not getting better" came the reply.

I was so shocked then I just cried - I really am going to have to tell them, I know everyone says be honest and I will be as far as I can but I don't want to frighten them or say something that would stop them wanting to see him.

I suppose the other reason is I'm struggling to come to terms with it myself and still spend random moments crying my eyes out - then there is mum and her grief - just don't want to see any more of it on 2 lovely and very precious children who adore their grandad and should not be loosing him like this!!!!!!!!!

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi,

i have a very similar position in that my dad is terminally ill and recently has gone down hill. because of the medication he is quite often away with the fairies and sleeps alot, he also needs help to alot of things now. my 2 children 6 and 8 yrs don't know what grandad has but they do know that he is not very well. I can't actually bring myself to tell them just how ill grandad is as they both adore him, i have been taking them to see him and on the way i explain what grandad may be like today. i know i will have to say at some point and that i can't protect them from what is going to happen but i need to find the right way to explain it.

i hope you find the right words and strength when you need to.
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Argo,

Just sit them down and let your Maternal instincts

take over. But dont try and con them as Kids are a lot cleverer than you think.

Take care and be safe Love Sarsfields.xxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Children are very perceptive. I suspect they already know their grandad is not getting better... from seeing him and seeing you trying to put a brave face on things. They may already sense some grieving...

Whatever you say to them - I would not try to reassure them that 'he will get better' (especially if they ask the difficult question) - otherwise they may later feel betrayed by someone they trust most in the world. (I recall as a child - feeling shut out when my Grandma was ill and then died).

Gently preparing them for the future is difficult. Sharing and encouraging them to say a prayer for grandad to be free of pain and suffering might help? Books such as 'The Dragonfly Door' - and' Waterbugs and Dragonflies' are suitable for children... to help explain about dying and death.

God be with you.
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