finally said it!

Less than one minute read time.

Just had mum on the phone to tell me how dad got on today at the hospital.  Consultant was very surprised and pleased to see how well he looks on sutent this time, he siad that despite what they say about not being able to go back on this drug once you've been on some of the others he's going to ignore it and keep dad on.  That was the good news - why does this always seem to come with a but...............

Although the xrays showed that there has been no change in the size of the tumour, its not shrinking either and he then finally said "you know we can't cure this".  The words I knew but never wanted to hear.

Don't know how I feel as I write this, no tears, no anger, just nothing.  For weeks I have been going on as normal, as if this just wan't happening.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Although my cancer has been operated on and removed, I felt like how felt. It is a strange feeling almost like an empty, numb feeling. I said nothing, thought, nothing and felt nothing.......until it sunk in after a day or so. Thats when all the questions you wished you had asked on the day come pouring into your head. When I read some of these posts on here I wish I knew all the right things to say and do, a big magic wand to make it all right for everyone would be good...but we all know that ain't about to happen. The good thing in your dads case I suppose is that the tumor has not got any bigger.......is your glass half empty or half full.......springs to mind. Have you asked your dad how he feels about it and what he is thinking, or your mum even? My children live 100 miles from me and I was terrified of telling them I have cancer...they are 19, 18 and 13.but after going over it in my head what I was told and the info given to me by the hospital...I called them and came of the phone with a huge lump in my troat. They just have to call me or txt and say hiya dad what you up to and those 3 little words "dad, love ya" dont half brighten my day......I know, big softie...lol.

    I don't know if my prattling on will help you...I suppose what I am trying to say is live for the day and take each day as it comes.

    Best Wishes to you and your family

    Doug.....

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Although my cancer has been operated on and removed, I felt like how felt. It is a strange feeling almost like an empty, numb feeling. I said nothing, thought, nothing and felt nothing.......until it sunk in after a day or so. Thats when all the questions you wished you had asked on the day come pouring into your head. When I read some of these posts on here I wish I knew all the right things to say and do, a big magic wand to make it all right for everyone would be good...but we all know that ain't about to happen. The good thing in your dads case I suppose is that the tumor has not got any bigger.......is your glass half empty or half full.......springs to mind. Have you asked your dad how he feels about it and what he is thinking, or your mum even? My children live 100 miles from me and I was terrified of telling them I have cancer...they are 19, 18 and 13.but after going over it in my head what I was told and the info given to me by the hospital...I called them and came of the phone with a huge lump in my troat. They just have to call me or txt and say hiya dad what you up to and those 3 little words "dad, love ya" dont half brighten my day......I know, big softie...lol.

    I don't know if my prattling on will help you...I suppose what I am trying to say is live for the day and take each day as it comes.

    Best Wishes to you and your family

    Doug.....

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Although my cancer has been operated on and removed, I felt like how felt. It is a strange feeling almost like an empty, numb feeling. I said nothing, thought, nothing and felt nothing.......until it sunk in after a day or so. Thats when all the questions you wished you had asked on the day come pouring into your head. When I read some of these posts on here I wish I knew all the right things to say and do, a big magic wand to make it all right for everyone would be good...but we all know that ain't about to happen. The good thing in your dads case I suppose is that the tumor has not got any bigger.......is your glass half empty or half full.......springs to mind. Have you asked your dad how he feels about it and what he is thinking, or your mum even? My children live 100 miles from me and I was terrified of telling them I have cancer...they are 19, 18 and 13.but after going over it in my head what I was told and the info given to me by the hospital...I called them and came of the phone with a huge lump in my troat. They just have to call me or txt and say hiya dad what you up to and those 3 little words "dad, love ya" dont half brighten my day......I know, big softie...lol.

    I don't know if my prattling on will help you...I suppose what I am trying to say is live for the day and take each day as it comes.

    Best Wishes to you and your family

    Doug.....

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi,  I think there are more cancers than we know that are 'controlled' rather than cured. Mine is.

    And I think the specialists are getting better and better at doing this, and there are more and more drugs coming to light that are effective in 'controlling'.  Please don't be too down about this, I know it's not ideal, but hopefully they'll be able to control it for quite a while. Lots of love, Jeanie x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi, I am in a similar position to you.  My dad has been recently diagnosed with bowel cancer spread to the liver and possibly the lungs.  We have been told that they won't operate as it will not cure him, but we are still waiting for biopsy results to see if they can control the cancer with chemotherapy.

    I feel a strange calmness.  I thought if ever I was in this position with one of my parents I would be inconsolable, but I keep telling myself that hopefully they can keep this at bay for a long time. I also feel like I am in a dream and am looking on.

    I had cancer myself a few years ago so don't find the word as distressing as some people, I suppose I am sort of used to it and keep telling myself that that is maybe why I am so calm.  I think there is still a bit of denial going on with me though.

    Hopefully they can continue to control your dad's tumour for a long time.

    Best wishes, Christine xx