pre operation assessment nurse rang to say that Babs heart rate is overly high so I have to take her in for a heart scan on Friday before her op' on Monday. Also they have said that they want to give her a spinal aneathetic rather than a general - which I know Babs has said she doesnt want. Thing is, I haven't plucked up the courage to tell Babs this yet. Yesterday she was in floods of tears saying how when she shuts her eyes she just sees doctors and nurses coming at her - how can I tell her they're going to be on Friday? I just hugged her for about 15 minutes and let her cry - what could I say? Hate this - feel absolutely useless... She had what we call a "cozy bed day" today - basically she stays in bed with her electric blanket toasting her and watches a Catherine Cookson DVD and I supply the meals and coffees! Bless her - she looked so tiny today when I went down to the annexe - so vulnerable, all tucked up. Couldnt bear to tell her the news that she's going in for more tests before her op - she absolutely hates being pulled about. Will have to do it tomorrow... any suggestions? Annie X
FormerMember
Oh Annie, I have been reading your blogs with interest and am so sorry that you are now faced with such a dilemma. As a 70 year 'terminally ill' mother and grandmother, I will try to explain what I personally want and hope for when the end comes so close. Apologies for having such a long list!
The truth.
Give it to me straight please.
Tell me how much you love me and talk about the joys we have been blessed to share.
Hold me close, copious crying is OK for both of us now.
No well meant promises for 'when it's all over'.
Respect the choices I do make and try to implement them for me.
Truly promise not to grieve for too long and never blame yourself.
Be glad and proud that you extended my life by all this time by giving me an adorable grandson and talk about me with him.
Be brave and let me go.
I hope it helps Annie,they are only the personal final wishes and views of one person. May you find the strength to make this sad decision without future regret, and get some gratitude from the family for your extended super-human efforts.
The heart scan, you don't say what sort, is absoultely straightforward and painless. I've had 3 different sorts:
The muga scan - they give you 2 injections in your arm, the 2nd one is radioactive stuff that shows up on the scan. In the scanning room you lie on a bed. It's not like a full body scan. The machine does loom over your chest a bit but your head's not enclosed at all. The scan takes 20 minutes and the technician stays in the room with you. You're not left on your own.
Electro cardio scan - this is like the one they use for pregnant women to check the baby. They put gel on your chest and move a paddle thing over your chest so they can see the beating heart on the screen. I preferred not to watch this as it looked ghastly! But you can ask them to turn the screen away.
ECG - nothing to it. Again you lie on a bed and they attach electrode things to your chest and ankles. That's it.
None of the above are painful or intrusive and take hardly any time at all. The technicians are very nice and understanding. If you explain how upset Babs is, they may let you go in with her.
So you should find out exactly what's involved with this heart scan (they usually send you a letter to explain it all) and knowing what to expect should take away some of the fear. Hopefully!
You are not useless, you're being supportive. There's nothing else you can do except what you are already doing. Sorry I can't be more helpful - but please do assure Babs that the scans are easy-peasy and honestly, there's nobody more hospital phobic than I am. I even went by myself on the bus. And I don't believe there was a single doctor involved. Just a nurse and the technicians who operate the machines.
