When will it end

Less than one minute read time.

Its been months now since i last felt like this. I thought i had managed to come to terms with the monster and was begining to get on with my life .Then out off nowhere it hits me again that feeling of fear and dread .Just sitting there watching tele and bang there it was ,all them thoughts again and i was feeling fine why cant i keep it away . Im so scared tonight , a 58 year old man sitting here crying his eyes out ,thought id got oer  it its a night mare i just keep having and the trouble is i cant wake up Somtimes tjink the end may be preferable to this

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hey Alan - I was away on Saturday, and only just saw this now. Sending you Retro-Hugs. Glad to see you're feeling better. You're not alone - We're all here for you (and for each other).

    Love, Mo

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Alan, don't feel afraid to feel so sad, it's all part of the process of life!!  I wonder why men feel they can't cry/feel bad/afraid?  In any event, I've only just read your latest blog and I hope that today, hopefully, you feel more sedate!  No-one knows the future, not even healthy beings.  When time is up, it's up.  We are just reminded of our vulnerability by our illness.  We have two choices 1. cry and live with those feelings as they are important and will move on like the storm they are or, 2. ignore them and they will just jump right out of you and surprise you when you least expect.  Don't ignore your grief, let it out especially to us on Macmillan who know about that black dog.  We are all thinking of you - you have so much more to do and give as a human being.  Those grandchildren of yours so want your love.  Take care, Alan, I  hope the storm has passed.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

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