When will it end

Hi Alan

I am new kid on the block.  But I have read your story and have great admiration for you.  You have come so far.  It is natural to have those feelings, going through this experiernce is so traumatic and draining.  I know and I am only a bystander, my mum was recently diagnosed with myeloma a complicated cancer and is receiving intensive treatment at the Marsden.  I just take a day at a time.  You are not alone, take care of yourself and use all those inner resources you have to make yourself feel better and reach out to people.

I would also go to your G.P and explaining how you are feeling.  Take great care of yourself you are in my thoughts and prays

fi x

thanks to all for your kind comments xxx

Dear Alan, I haven't spoken to you before, but I thought I'd like to add my good wishes to the others who have posted.  I am a carer, but with longstanding depression, and I do find the fluctuating feelings (and mixed feelings) hard to deal with.  I am trying not to try to repress what I call the 'dark stuff' but to respect it and give it due space and compassion.  Even so, when I wake up feeling the gloom, I just want it to go AWAY, but I know I have to accept it as part of this whole process.

You obviously reached a very low point when you posted, and I feel for you.  I hope you'll post again if you feel the need to let out some of the painful stuff you are experiencing.  All best wishes, Cathy.  

Alan my sweetheart.............you are not alone on feeling this way. I try to live my life from day to day and make the best of what I have but now and again it hits me and a large black cloud descends over me and it is not that easy to shake it off. I tell myself that cancer will not rule my life...I had cancer and cancer didn't have me.

I put on a comedy film and watch that, for me laughter would help pick me up. We are all scared my love and tears falling is a good thing. I send you love and hugs.....love Carol x

hey alan , you are not alone , i understand how hard this is for you, im not in a good place at the moment but want you to know i am thimking of you and sending you massive hugs and lots of love jenni xxxxxxxxxxx