Advanced lung cancer - honest advice needed

Hello

I found out at the weekend my Dad's lung cancer can't be cured and that it has now spread beyond the lung.  It is quite a difficult situation: we were estranged for twelve years (never my or my sister's choice) and the weekend was the first time I had seen him since I was 16.  Secondly, I don't really think he is accepting the prognosis and because of the estrangement, I am not really in a position to start probing too deeply into his prognosis.  If any body has any knowledge or advice on the following, I would really appreciate it:

• His cancer is terminal and the cancer has spread from his lungs to his stomach and we suspect his spine.

• He was meant to start chemo last week to stop the cancer spreading so quickly.  He has told me his specialist/Oncologist (I'm assuming that is his type of specialist) has said he won't be having chemo now and that he is to go back to see the specialist in two months.  My Dad has told us this is because he doesn't need chemo yet, I believe this is because it is now too late for chemo.  Why would he wait two months when we already know it has spread  Can anyone confirm whether or not this is the case?

• I have asked my Dad what his prognosis is but says he doesn't know but he is well enough to wait for chemo for two months.  I think he is in denial over how poorly he is.

• He is 62 now and I have been told by a close friend he has deteriorated quickly.  He has trouble walking now (his legs are very sore and he has permanently swollen feet, ankles joints etc).

• He has smoked 60 a day for the last 45 years and is still smoking.  His mother died of suspected smoking related lung cancer.

If anybody could give me honest advice on the chemo situation and any sort of indication how long he has left I would appreciate it, however bleak.  I realise it differs from person to person, but I am at a loss of how to go about this.  I have my own suspicion it isn't long, but my sister and I really would do with some sort of honest prognosis.  My Dad doesn't want us speaking to his doctor and I have to respect his wishes.  I will not push the subject, given the previous estrangemen, as I want to make the most of the time I have with him. 

Sorry for the sob story, I just wanted to put this into context as it is a difficult situation.  It is a very hard time but I need to know what to expect and I don't know who to speak to.

Best,

Lauren