parkrun #250

It’s been a while since I have been able to run properly - the period since lockdown has not been kind to me. Stuck on 179 runs at the start of lockdown, it has taken me 3 years to get through the 71 runs to get through to 250. During that time I have had a hip replacement, after which I got back to running. Then surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy for my primary cancer, during which I was able to run a bit. Then immunotherapy and more chemotherapy once it was realised my cancer had spread to my liver. I then had what’s cheerfully described as an “immunotherapy related adverse event” where my immune system attacked various organs. I have had two more surgeries. I have been left with damaged kidneys, thyroid and lungs, and inflammation in my spine causing neuropathy. I am struggling with stiff joints as a result of steroid withdrawal.  So running is no longer an option, in fact walking 5k is a herculean effort involving walking poles, regular hydration through a vest/bladder, and a lot of willpower.

I have had a huge amount of support from our parkrun’s wonderful core team during this time and I don’t think it’s just been about getting me through it so they don’t need to keep waiting around for me to finish. Yesterday was no exception. Labelled up with ‘250 today’ labels, we got a lot of shout outs as we went round the course - my husband had taken one look at the weather conditions and decided to walk with me rather than running. Our supporters, including visitors from other parkruns enjoyed running the course despite the conditions. They, plus loads of our volunteers were waiting to cheer us through the finish and to present me with a green parkrun 250 shirt.

We had brunch with the group of friends with balloons tied to our chairs; it had been too windy to take them on the course. Afterwards, there was the mix of elation that I had achieved it, combined with the inevitable adrenal crash. Shivering, wrapped in a blanket, ridiculous as it’s not that cold outside. Things have settled a bit today. I still have significant joint stiffness which is seriously affecting my mobility.

I have another oncology review on Wednesday, and need to push them to test my cortisol again. Whilst I might be adjusting steadily, it seems wrong to feel this rough 3 weeks on from stopping the steroids completely. It’s certainly making the being in remission a little hollow as I have not been able to get out and about much to enjoy it. Classic thing of the cancer has never made itself known in anyway but the treatment has left a permanent legacy. I am not what I was, but I have finally achieved an objective I have been working towards, with difficulty, for some time. There’s always something you can do and I need to find a new goal.