binnie's blog

Hi Everybody, I haven't been round for such a long time as I didn't really want to visit this site as it brought back sad memories.

Last friday was 5 months to the date that mum passed away and I must admit it has been tough. I still at times don't think she has gone, I think she is at home with dad.

Dad has just been for tea tonight, he seemed in good humour. I think the thing which helps in our family…

It's mums funeral tomorrow, I am dreading it.

Up to now, I have had mixed emotions. Crying a lot when she first died, I was there.

Then relief that she wasn't in anymore pain. Then talking about her to friends and relatives, I smile.

Then somedays I laugh. Somedays I don't even believe it, I still feel she is alive and at home or in the hospital.

It doesn't seem real.

Dad is very down today, he cried…

My beautiful, wonderful mum has passed away tonight. I am distraught. She was breathing so heavily throughout the day and when we visited tonight with my brother and his wife, we told mum it was ok to go. She still was breathing heavily, but then after a while, her breathing slowed down. She opened her eyes, and looked up to the sky for ages without blinking and suddenly went. I will always miss my wonderful mum, and…

Tonight has been a real tear jerker. Yet again my mums sister turned up along with my cousin, my mums brother and wife. Then my other Aunty and Uncle this morning. Then me and my hubbie, my brother Alan, then my brother, his wife, grand children of mum and dad. Apparently mum had been taking it all in today and her sister and brother were reminiscing about their child hood. it made mum smile. Then when we visited tonight…

Just wanted you all to know that my lovely mum is going into a hospice tomorrow morning for respite care. She is just sleeping all the time, she can't eat, and only drinks tea, or water when dad can keep her awake to drink. She gets awful stomach ache, has constipation, shingles and haemorroids or a prolapse. She also has Leukaemia (Aml) and is on chemo tablets. In the last week, mum has grown so weary, she can't keep…