Hi Bellaj sorry you have had to join our club. It’s not unusual to feel scared and anxious. First bit of advice I would give you is not to Ask Mr Google, a lot of the stuff on there is way out of date. You will get all the help and advice on here from the lovely ladies who have been where you are now, had the op, going through treatment or have finished and come out strong on the other side.
If you are worried or have any questions ask away. There is always someone here to help you. I am 2 weeks post operation and I can honestly say that the ladies on here got me through it. I was fully clued up and didn’t have any worries going into the operation.
Thank you x I still feel bewildered tbh. Haven't yet told my children who are adults not sure what to say or whether to wait till had MRI and surgery or tell them now
Hi Bella, welcome to the group! I was diagnosed in November, after a hysteroscopy, and chose not to tell my adult children until after my MRI when I had an idea of the stage, as I knew that the first thing they’d want to know was how serious it was, and would just worry while I was waiting for the scan and results. Only you can decide what’s right for you and for them, but for me it was right to wait, as it was hard enough dealing with my own emotions than having all their reactions and questions too. They didn’t need the worry, and I didn’t need to have to deal with their worry. I did mention that I was having some gynae investigations post menopause, but that was all. I told them the full news the same day that I received my MRI results. I had my hysterectomy end of January. Were you given any indication of grade?
Welcome to the group. It's all a bit of a shock at first, I know it was for me. I told everyone straightaway because I was still at work right up until the first op. But after I'd had the op as a daycase and come home, the WhatsApp messages were just one after the other. It's nice but tiring and can be too much at times. I think at that stage it was expected to be an operation and that's it done, back to work, which has proved not to be the case.
Everyone is different and marmite is right, once they know, you've then got to deal with their reaction as well. You do what's comfortable and what sits right with you. We are all in the same boat to varying degrees here so there is always lots of support. Take care,
Hi to Amanda from another Amanda! I’ve had my op and finished my radio & brachy last Thursday (3 days ago) so I’ve finally braved social media and have put up a post on Facebook about my diagnosis, op and treatment. I’m glad I did it, as I wanted to try and demystify cancer and treatment a bit, and also educate women about being alert for symptoms, but, honestly, with some of the reactions (ie fuss) it has made me even more glad that I didn’t tell more people at the time!
It IS a scary time when you get a diagnosis, but you have friends on here who are happy to hold your hand metaphorically and reassure you. It's normal to panic and think the worst but try to hold fire until you know more about your unique position. Whatever the outcome, we are here to support you and each other. xx
Some people just love it, I find. My theory for telling people was that if I tell them myself they can't make things up and speculate/gossip as to why I'm off work. As to whether this has worked, who knows and tbh, who cares. I have to concentrate on me for a change, and my health and getting better (amen)
Hi Amanda, I can totally understand that with a work situation. Mine was mostly personal situations - eg church, and I didn’t want to have lots of “how are you”s and concerned looks, also extended family on my husband’s and adult children’s sides who I couldn’t trust not to say things, albeit in a well intentioned way, that could make things harder for me. I didn’t want to be told how sorry they were, or be told about their own experiences or of those they knew, or how terrible it was, lol. I help low income families locally (voluntarily) and I told a few of the dads and they were supportive without fussing, and that helped. I guess we all just have to work out what’s best for us in our own situations. For me it came down to “why would I be telling them, and what would I want from them (if anything)?”, bearing in mind that if you tell someone you’re likely to get a response/reaction, and not just once.
Yes, I understand and I think I would be the same in your circumstances. I'm starting chemo this week and once the hair has fallen out/the hat goes on, the world and his wife will make assumptions and feel free to comment. I'm not looking forward to that and the nosy neighbours!
Funnily enough, just as I was reading your last post Amanda, from my bedroom window upstairs I saw a woman from church arrive with flowers (they divvy up the Sunday flowers and take them to people on the Monday). I called out to my husband “Someone’s here, I don’t want to see her” (lol) so that he’d know not to call me. He received them for me, and I heard her say “Amanda was positively glowing yesterday!” to which he replied “That will be the radiation Barbara!” - I was stifling giggles!
