Hi peeps, my head jus won't stop and its starting to affect me. I jus can't cope with the fact I've had cancer then a hysterectomy so it means my dreams of having my own biological child is gone and am now starting to get symptoms of early menopause so it means I'm sweating, mood swings and major panic attacks which are no fun and scary especially in public nobody understands. I know I should be positive and i am trying, i do have a child and have been made to feel guilty for wanting another and made to feel guilty that others don't survive cancer and I did so therefore I should jus be grateful. My husband feels im shutting him out and I really don't mean to I jus can't cope with everything in my head so how can I make him understand. I have an appointment with a psychologist in 2 weeks but also have my kidney stone operation in 2 weeks time and im absolutely terrified as I hate surgeries. Sorry for droaning on. Much love Holland19 xxx
Hi . This is all part of the emotional rollercoaster ride we're on. First disbelief over the diagnosis, then the op and now you're having to go through early menopause you've just got so much going on in your head it's hardly surprising you feel about to explode like a pressure cooker. It's also so sad that you and your husband have to come to terms with the fact you won't be able to have more children but you could consider adoption. My friend did that after her hysterectomy but she and her hubby thought for a long time about it. They went ahead and he's just started University.
Unfortunately the careless remarks made by some people can be so devastating, yes we're grateful to be alive but we've lost a lot as well. You shouldn't have to explain yourself to them. I see you've joined a couple of other forums which is good. I could suggest you join the Family and Friends group and ask your husband to take a look at the posts there, he'll see that you don't mean to be shutting him out.
Have a word with your GP about help with the menopause symptoms, they should be able to help with some medication. I'm sure you'll feel in a better place once you see the Psychologist.
I'm also sorry to see you've got to have a kidney stone op in a couple of weeks. You could delay it but most people wouldn't advise that.
If you want to come back and rant, we'll be here to listen.
Gentle hugs, Barb xx
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