Feeling lonely

Hello ,

firstly please give yourself some understanding you have had one hell of a lot to deal with all at once, I think you have done amazing. I had womb cancer and my hysterectomy when i was 38 and can definitely relate to the surgical menopause, unfortunately I can’t have hrt due to being high risk breast cancer and wow the emotional swings is alot to cope with sometimes but I have had to try to find a way, I feel lucky that my only treatment was a hysterectomy and touch wood the menopause hasn’t been as bad as expected, but we are all different. One thing that got me through was i had some time at the local hospice which let me join an arts and crafts group and I also had relaxation sessions there and I have know taken up art still nowifyou want take a look at the womb girls arts and crafts in the chat subgroup, art is so therapeutic . So I would recommend asking your Gp whether they have something like that locally. I hope your husband is healing well from his surgery, my Dad had heart surgery a number of years ago thankfully not at the same time as me but because of that we both understood how we both felt about having major surgery because a hysterectomy is major surgery no matter how its preformed and lots of internal healing to go on. I never had children and yes i admit that I did feel rather like I had let everyone down not having children but then i try to learn that that decision was taken from me but it still stings. Please please don’t think of yourself as a fraud you had cancer no matter its stage and grade that’s still alot to process and I feel strange sometimes because I didn’t have chemo or radiotherapy and feel I have no idea how that feels but then that is the advantages of the community there is always someone who knows how you feel and try’s to be as helpful and understanding as possible even if your experiences are slightly different.

sending you a gentle bear hug  

Hi Holland,

Sorry you find yourself here. I can understand how you must be feeling. When I was pregnant for the first time I lost the baby at 20 weeks. I lost another at 6 weeks and began to lose all hope. I couldn't be near babies and actually remember having to leave a christening because I just couldn't take it. The medical people found out that I had a weak womb neck and babies literally dropped out. I then carried two babies stitched into my womb, so as you can guess they were very precious. I still think of the miscarriages as the worst time in my life (including cancer). 

I think actually having a baby helped me to forget.And I actually went for promotion before that. I decided to throw myself into work. A cancer diagnosis is terrifying in itself. It takes time to get over it all. As for friends, if they don't speak to you they are not true friends. I had some of this attitude when my husband had throat cancer 14 years ago. I think there is still a lot of misunderstanding about cancer, and often people do not know what to say, or think they will catch it!!. We joined a support group when my husband was ill and found some new true friends there. They had all been through similar things and we have a laugh together. Is that an idea for you?

I hope you find help here. We are a friendly bunch and there is always someone around.  xxxxx

GBear thank you for those lovely kind supportive words it means so much. My husband is recovering well but we are both still reeling from the cancer diagnosis and are both struggling to get our heads round it. Xxxx

NannyAnny, im sorry for what you went through that must have been so hard. I was made to feel guilty for wanting another child and this destroyed me as this person has 2 kids and it was a male who said it so how could he understand how I felt it made me close down and I feel guilty and selfish. I joined the forum today to speak to others who could understand xxx

Hi there I feel the same as you I was 30 31 now so no more kids for meam lucky I have got two but cancer took away my chance at another how old are you? Xxx

Xxnataliexx, I am 35 hun  xxx

We are both young then I needed surgey only was stage 1agrade 2 what stage and grade was you? Have you got children already xxx

Xxnataliexx, I was grade 1 hun and I have one child xxx

I found people saying to me I was lucky that I have children and in my mind I was thinking cancer took away my choice thow and that’s not fair! I am glad to see the children I do have grow up my mental health has Bein awful since diagnosesxxx

Was it only surgey u needed xxx