Hi everyone,
Just checking in to see how the 2020 ladies are doing. I’m reasonably fine, though sleep seems to be avoiding me at moment. I woke up at around three this morning and haven’t been able to get back to sleep and it’s now six thirty. I’m seriously thinking I’d be as well getting up rather than lying here waiting for something that probably isn’t going to happen. I’m hoping that the lack of sleep is down to apprehension I’m feeling concerning my upcoming CT scan on Monday. I’ve not been up to dealing with much lately and the mind gremlins have really been working overtime on me this past month. I think it’s because not even the consultant is sure about whether I have lymphoma or not, I hate all the uncertainty it just adds to the worry and stress which in turn leaves the door wide open for the mind gremlins to do their worst. I’m really hoping things will be much clearer after Monday. Enough of me, how about everyone else I hope you are all doing well and getting a chance to enjoy the lovely weather. Have a good day everyone, I’m off to try and get a wee forty winks as I’m yawning as I type this.
Take Care
Angie 
Hi Angie
So nice to hear from you again. I'm the same, always been a light sleeper but since last year I've found I just don't sleep properly. Go to bed about 10.15, read for half hour, switch off the light and am wide awake from 3.30! Funny thing is, even though I'm only getting about 4.5 hours sleep a night I can't doze off in the day even if I make a conscious effort to go & lie on the bed. Have you still got your comfy relaxer?
I suppose a lot stems from the worries last year and the fact one of my dogs was always wanting to go out. Toby's been gone since October and last Saturday I was devastated to have to take my little Jack for his last vet visit. He was 17 & I'm still finding it hard not seeing his little face every morning.
I've also found the mind gremlins give me a little nudge every so often. I've had 2 post op consultations and will see my Gynae Consultant next month. Yesterday was the anniversary of my telephone consult with my GP when she put me on the 2 week wait cancer pathway. Surreal!
Sending hugs as always, Barb xx 
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Hi Barb, Lovely to hear from you.Yes I still have my comfy chair but when I've had a bad night I daren't recline it or I'd fall asleep and then not sleep again that night, it's a vicious circle. Good lord is a year already for you, definitely doesn't seem that long. Mind you I'm terrible for keeping track of time. I have times where I don't know what month it is never mind the day of the week. So very sorry to hear about Jack. I'm sending virtual hugs your way.
I can't believe you've had two post op consultations already, they are definitely on the ball in your neck of the woods. So far all I've had is one post op phone consultation to tell me they'd found abnormal cells, when they did the check of the removed ovaries, and the MDT had recommended a haematology appointment. The haematologist was the one that told me it was a suspected lymphoma,and organised the CT scan of what I call the top,middle and bottom. That was in April so pretty good given the current circumstances only an 8 week wait for the scan appointment. I suppose all will be revealed on Tuesday when I'm due the phone consultation with the haematologist to give me the scan results, assuming they're through. Can they get results back within 24hrs? Well I'll sign off now and go try figure out what we're eating tonight, it'll have to be something simple as I can't be bothered cooking. A nice salad springs to mind actually, it's quick, easy and no cooking. Dinner problem solved .
I wish everything was that easy. I'll pop back in Monday after scan and let you know how it went. I'll definitely need a decent sleep Sunday night as scan appointment is 9:30 Monday morning. Bye Barb and be safe.
Take Care
Angie
