well u all are certainly right about the ups and downs . I am so hopeful one minute and think everything iis going to be fine and then the next minute I am sure I have symptoms of another cancer somewhere else. does everybody feel like that? like I start thinking -omg I felt that pain that was weird and maybe that is a bad sign and I have cancer there too. so far I have diagnosed myself with breast cancer and colon cancer in the last week. im also pathetic in terms of the pre-op stuff . I am petrified of blood test and then an IV at the time of surgery . it is absolutely crazy that I am more scared of that then the pain afterward . obviously biggest fear is the spread . my husband keeps telling me I need to be positive and that we have such great doctors etc - it helps for about 3 seconds and then fear creeps in again. I also look at all of the other people (we took walk at park today) and I wonder how all of them seem to be healthy and fine! - there is my daily rant
Hi meb70
I still feel just the same with the ups and downs. Monday I was euphoric to be told I'm cancer free and yesterday back in the depths to be told by the Oncologist I've still got a few malignant cells lurking but hopefully Brachytherapy will blast them into submission!
I felt like I was looking through a window throughout most of the procedure. Didn't watch needles go in despite being a blood donor for over 30 years! So look the other way! The anaesthetist at Nottingham put the canula for the IV's near to my wrists, rather than in the back of my hands which made things easier.As to the pain afterward, I had very little - rather discomfort and I think I have a low pain threshold. I admit It did twinge a little when getting out of bed but no big deal. The meds they give you are a combination of paracetamol, Ibuprofen and morphine as well as antiacid tablets.The nurses removed the catheter the next morning and I felt nothing untoward. They wanted to examine my first wee, no problems with that. Despite being given senna tablets and taking dulcoease, I did suffer with constipation but once the wind let rip & I had a movement I was good to go (literally) My goodness, isn't it amazing what you can talk about!!
It's very true, you do look at people passing you by and wonder what they're going through. Why me, whatever have I done to deserve this. I've decided to be positive about this whole thing. I never did feel ill, at any time, so to be diagnosed with cancer was honestly a huge shock. Onwards and upwards!)
You go ahead and rant all you like my love, let it rip, have a good cry - we're here to listen and virtually dry your tears. (silly sod, I'm crying as I write this - time for a coffee)
Big hugs, Barbxx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
"Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever” - Roy T Bennett
Hi meb70,
This is the rollercoaster ride, the uncertainty, the mental & emotional stress, the being convinced that it's spread here there & everywhere, the twinges that spark that dreaded feeling ! We have all experienced this & this is perfectly normal, I swear our brains go into overdrive in the early days !
Everything you are feeling is a natural reaction & it is hard to stay positive but you will get through this once you get that date for surgery things will hopefully start to improve. I remember getting my date & saying THANK GOD they are going to take it out now & then my outlook was a lot better as I occupied myself with stuff that needed doing at home before my Operation. Like Barb I did not have big pain afterwards as we had both an Epidural as well as the other medication which made a huge difference with pain management in recovery, you WILL get there my lovely these days are tough but we are all here to listen & are giving you massive Hugs & Support.
Justine
