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hi - MaryQ, so have they found a primary site now?

Sorry FreddieQ I thought you might see the message I sent to GNG…it was difficult news…but at least I know now it is breast mets…still feeling very odd and CT on Saturday may show anywhere else and that is what I am dreading…unsuccessfully trying to keep going but such a mixture of emotions…thanks for your message and really hope you carry on with positive approach and good results from treatment Xx

 MaryQ FreddieQ  not good news today. Cancer in liver is in multiple parts. They will continue looking for primary & start chemo to control it. However it's not curable.  Was told because I have no symptoms I have longer than a year to live but definitely less than 5 years.  I'm shocked & numb. Guess I'll be going on the incurable cancer group. Thank you both for your support & I wish you both well. Xx

Really been thinking of you...so sorry to hear the not good news and I am not surprised you are shocked and numb, I still am the same.  I mean mine is incurable but won't have any sort of time limit until next week.  I am bargaining in my head for 2 years...crazy.  I think all stage 4 is incurable but treatable in one way or other.  I will look for incurable group cos there are limits to what treatment I can have because of other issues...Xx

 MaryQ  I'm so sorry I didn't realise your cancer was incurable. It's horrible I don't know how I'm still standing or even able to go on here & type. Guess you get inner strength from somewhere. There isn't much else I can say today. But please please stay in touch with me. Although our cancer is different feel like I like stay in touch. Take care  xx

it's awful having to face and deal with such news - stay strong and get yourself in the best of health before you start treatment - it really does help.  Ask kyour Oncologist to send you or call you with results as soon as she receives them - one of the worst things is the waiting.  Thinking of you - keep us updated on your scan Saturday.

I have seen my oncologist today for the result of my recent CT Scan - it was all clear - no signs of cancer !  there is always hope,  think positive thoughts and stay healthy - my prognnosis WAS 12 - 24 months.  I am now in remission but will have regular scans.

It has been a tough day today as I have felt very low and crying a lot...there is still so much I don't know and the CT scan I was meant to have tomorrow is now postponed til Tuesday morning.  I have yet to get connection to the breast care team and feel out in the cold at the moment.  I don't know if I will tolerate the treatments too well at all and that is frightening.  But this evening things feel a little better when I kind of let go of trying to control everything.  It is as it is now and there is nothing I can do about what I have done for the last 10 years...to stop it happening.  I hope you have had a better day.  It is so so tiring being anaemic but hopefully I will get another transfusion soon. I hope you get some sleep Xx

Sorry only just saw your updated message. That is excellent news FreddieQ  I am really pleased for you & I know you must be feeling amazing. Some positive news which gives us all hope. Xx

Morning MaryQ . Sorry I replied to Freddie msg under your last msg. Don't know how I cancel it.  I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday you were not alone I was the excat same. Can't believe your scan cancelled. I always think few days won't make a difference physically but mentally it does. It's horrible waiting for the correct team to support you. Wish I could say something make you feel better. 

I can't relate as I didn't have cancer before yet I have been thinking if I could have stopped this. On the basis I smoked only gave up 2 weeks ago as knew it impacts treatment plus wouldn't do the cancer good. Then I think why am I not sick from the amount of cancer I have in liver, i don't drink alcohol is it that why. Also I'm getting paranoid re any ache or twitch. Top area of stomach was sore yesterday but think it because I cried so much Thursday ended up been sick coughing so hard maybe I pulled muscle. My mind is messed up. I don't understand why in this day & age they can't cure my liver cancer even if it in multiple parts. 

I worry about my husband & family. Although I'm 41 I'm the youngest so hard to believe I go first. Luckily I have no children that is due to my endometriosis I wanted children but couldn't even with IVF. We only bought our house last year I need ensure my husband will be ok financially to keep the house.  I'm Irish lived here for 19 years. All my family know except my 85 year old Dad. So I need go home at some stage before treatment to tell him face to face. I won't tell him it incurable to protect him I will say let's see how I get on. He has just recovered from Melanoma cancer is in remission but getting immunotherapy for 1 year to make sure won't come back.

I'm going try my best today to enjoy my life spend time with my husband & go out. Was susposed be flying to France on holiday with my sister but I couldn't face it.

Don't know why I've typed such a long msg. Sorry for boring you all maybe some how this is helping me. Hope helps you too knowing you not alone. 

Hope today goes better for you. Xx

So pleased to see this post!  It can give us all a lot of hope.  I am not sure how these messages get put in order but you are right about thinking positive...yesterday was not but today I have managed to turn it around.  I accepted that I am not in control of what has happened but I can change what happens now.  Going to have a good day even if it starts at midday!  Go well FreddieQ xx