Having found a lump in May and being diagnosed with stage 4 Matastic Breast Cancer, in my brain (which was zapped at the Royal Marsden) and my spine and pelvis I’m on weekly chemo, with week one being Carboplatin and Paxlitaxel and weeks 2 and 3 being just Paxi.
I’m trying really hard to keep positive and not let negativity cloud things but I’m finding I’m angry and shouty which is just not like me, I’m normally very optimistic and happy and upbeat.
I think im a bit lost, I don’t look like me, my face has got round because of the steroids, although I still have hair I had it cut before treatment and I hate it. My whole life is now cancer and it’s impacted on my whole family.
i have an amazing support network and I’m grateful for that but I need to get out of this angry negative mindset it’s not good so I thought I would ask the community of people who understand for some insight or some hope that this will pass.
Hi Elvira
it’s hard to come to terms with stage 4 cancer. It’s worse when treatment leaves you neither looking or feeling like yourself. I think it was a gradual process of acceptance for me (metastatic tnbc since 2022) and it’s not something you can force a change on. Try to plan to do things you enjoy, even if it’s hard or seems pointless. Make sure those who love you know it’s the cancer or treatment talking, not you. I established a code word that either I or my husband would say when it was getting too difficult. It helped to instantly diffuse things.
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I have metastatic Triple Negative Breast Cancer, in remission
