Hi, it's took me a while to get to the point where I think I can talk to someone else even if it is just on a forum?!
My relative had a heart attack at the beginning of the year which subsequently caused a major bleed due to being prescribed blood thinners. Fast forward what felt like a lifetime of tests and unknowing and a diagnosis of stomach cancer was made in March 2021.
Decisions seem to take forever to come but we were eventually told that it is inoperable and thus making it terminal as it has grown through the stomach wall and attached to the peritoneum.
Treatment seemed to take forever to begin, but first prescribed was one round of radiotherapy which seemed to be successful and steamed the bleeding... Still awaiting to find out if chemo was an option at this point.
Eventually in July chemo was prescribed. But unfortunately they had contracted shingles and became extremely poorly. So it was delayed. The pain from the shingles remained for several months and they slowly became weaker and weaker, so the consultant agreed to begin chemo 3weeks ago.
3 X blue light trips to hospital later (severe blood loss and lack of consciousness), one resulting in near death and it was decided they were not strong enough for the 60% chemo that was given so it was agreed to be stopped.
Last week they were referred to Macmillan for pallative care.
Macmillan are coming out this week to speak to them and close family.
But I'm still so confused (even after working in healthcare for +15yrs) if it is in end of life or just pallative care?
They have never wanted to know how long they have and none of the healthcare team have been willing to say either. But another relative had the same diagnosis in Jan 2021 (talk about a bad year) and they were given 12months, fortunately they are still very much 'healthy' and 'well' 11 months on however who I am talking about is extremely weak and very unwell in pain, sleepy, lack of energy etc and not eating loosing over 7st in just the 8months since diagnosis.
I just feel if I knew I could prepare more and also prepare young children in the family more.
But I feel this could be nearing the end from past experience, and I just can't cope with how quickly it's all gone and how much someone can deteriorate in just 8 short months!
I wish this could be a happy ending but I have to be realistic 
Hi Choices. I'm so sorry you find yourself here reaching out for help and advice but you've come to a good place to talk and get some answers. Believe me, none of us ever expected to turn to a forum such as this for help yet it became my rock and mainstay.
I'm not actually from this group as I have a different type of cancer. I just dropped by and noticed no-one's been along to chat as yet. I'm quite sure, like me, they're digesting your post and desperately thinking of what they can say in reply. Cancer is an evil disease which strikes without warning and frequently attacks the bodies defences before treatments can be effective. Until joining these forums I had no idea how different cancers could be - aggressive or slow-growing. I makes those of us who are standing by feeling helpless and lost. To see the rapid deterioration in someone you love is heart-breaking.
I'm going to suggest that you join another forum Supporting someone with incurable cancer and I sincerely hope you can get some advice there.
If you want to chat to someone give the Macmillan Support Helpline, freephone number shown below. They're great as a listening ear and offer support and advice.
Sending you best wishes, B xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
"Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever” - Roy T Bennett
Hi Link103,
Thanks for replying to my post, and so sorry to hear about your dad my heart goes out to you both 
️
It was my father I was talking about in this post (I didn't want to state at the time not sure why?) And unfortunately he passed away this Monday just gone 
my uncle with the same diagnosis still remains 'well' 12 months on! I guess it is just luck of the draw, how early it was caught? My dad's was very late 
I do hope you both receive all the help and care that he deserves and trust the doctors they know what's best x
Sending you lots of strength and love x
