Hi, I’m new to this. My husband was diagnosed with low grade skin cancer on Wednesday. It’s a BCC, and that’s all the doctor said, and referred him to a plastic surgeon. There was no further information besides a leaflet about BCC (which I had already looked up on Google)
I feel as though it wasn't really explained. And now my husband is very distant, moody and snapping a lot. Which I can understand, but our relationship has been very strained lately, pre-diagnosis, and I am always the one who “deals” with things. And I don’t know what to do or say. I have told him to contact the Life Insurance, he won’t do it. He won’t talk to me about it. It’s like he just wants to ignore it. I know it’s not as serious as some cancers. And I am thankful that he does not have to go through the chemo etc. (The doctor said it will just be surgery to remove the bcc)
I really don’t know what to do, or say. He doesn’t want to tell the kids, but the way he is reacting, has made the kids ask what’s wrong with dad, and I’m the one dealing with it, and lying to the kids.
I feel like I’m going crazy, I suffer with depression and anxiety, have done for over 20 years. And I always have been the stronger one, but I feel helpless. I know I’m being selfish, and I should be thinking about what he’s going through, and I am trying, but like I said he doesn’t want to discuss it.
Hi Hippychick82 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your husband has just been diagnosed with a BCC and that, as a consequence, your relationship is very strained. It's not good that you've come away from the meeting with your husband's consultant feeling that his cancer has not been explained. I have had a BCC, as have the majority of people in this group, so I'm sure we'll be able to help. What would you like to ask or know?
It sounds, from what you've written, that your husband is trying to come to terms with his diagnosis and you might find this information from Macmillan on cancer and your emotions helpful to read. It's aimed at the person with cancer but it might help you have an insight into the range of emotions your husband may be feeling.
You say that
I really don’t know what to do, or say.
so you might find this Macmillan information on what to say to someone who has cancer useful. It suggests ways of starting a conversation along with how to overcome difficulties.
It would be great if you could put something about your husband's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Hippychick82
I just wanted to check in with you to see how you are doing and to ask if your husband is coping better with his diagnosis now he's had some time to come to terms with it?
You posted that
feel as though it wasn't really explained.
and I did offer to help you with anything you wanted to know. Please do take me up on that as probably what you're imagining is far worse than the reality.
Anne
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Sorry to hear that Hippychick82 but hopefully he'll have all his questions answered at his appointment this morning and he'll feel more settled once he knows what the treatment plan is.
((hugs))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
