How Do You Cope?

Hi Jul1a   I know exactly how you feel having 2 basal cell cancers removed from my face last year and I looked horrendous.  I had one removed by skin flap surgery and the other by skin graft. I wear glasses and couldnt wear those until I had started to heal.  Peoples reactions are cruel, they say it is ONLY a skin cancer, if ONLY they knew how it makes us feel. Yes they can be cured by the journey to get them cured is a hard one to travel.  I felt dreadful when I was diagnosed, but fortunately had a wonderfully supportive husband.  I couldnt sleep was up most nights making a cuppa.  My plastic surgeon was fantastic and has done a brilliant job but it has taken a year to get to this state. I am 74 and a neighbour just said you aren't 21 anymore, don't worry.  Another bought me flowers the day I had stitches out and her first words were "omg isn't it a mess".  If you send me a private message I will talk to you whenever you feel down and also a picture of before and after.  Never feel you are alone, this site is brilliant.  You are not asking for sympathy. just understanding from people who have been or going through the same problems.  Just keep in touch and good luck, here for you anytime. xx

Hi there

Please know that on this sight you can vent and you'll find a lot of support.

People have no idea how scary these things are or the impact of having surgery on your face. My friends have been a mixed bag. Some saying oh don't worry it'll be fine others pretending nothings happened and others supportive but I don't think any of them fully understand the impact.

Your wounds will heal and scars fade but it will take time. It'll take time emotionally as well. You Need to give it time. Eventually you will feel better.

I had a basal cell removed from the side of my nose which was left to heal by itself and I neatly passed out the first time I saw it but its just a white area now.

Please keep in touch and feel free to ask anything 

Thank You Harlyn so much for replying. I'd actually take OMG isn't it a mess as at least then they aren't patronising and saying oh it's not bad when you know it is horrendous. XX

Yes one of my BCC's is down the side of my nose/cheek and over 2" long and 14 stitches.

I find the it will take time and a few years you probably will hardly be able to see it hard to take. The trouble is with wanting to date at my age you feel time is limited and people judge by appearance, don't get to know the person behind the scars.

I'm also ???? as to how i carry on with my life when i work outside and my life is outside.

I now have an agonising 8-12 week wait to find out if they got them all and if the biopsy one is or  isn't so facing more surgery.

Yes the waiting is awful. Something we can all relate to.

The surgeon told me that our skin has amazing healing capacity. I was surprised at how I healed.

Have you discussed your outdoor life with your doctor?

Puckettyboo I really didn't get chance to, as soon as op was done i was shunted out and i hadn't really thought about afterwards and how it impacted me. 

That's really bad. Fortunately I had a lovely surgeon who actually asked me if I had any questions.

Hopefully you'll get the opportunity to ask next time you see him. Or your GP

You poor love, I can’t help being sympathetic because I do understand.  The dating process is horrible (IMHO, married now but reluctantly single for many many years) at the best of times, and this must feel like the worst of times.   Friends can say exactly the wrong thing sometimes.  I had one who expected me to resume normal life immediately, and when I said I can’t leave the house looking the way I look, she said, not having seen me , oh I know, anything done on one’s face causes such bruising…. I said ahem, it’s not just bruising, emailed her a photo of my Frankenstein appearance and that shut her up.  

This is tough, but the scars will heal.  I so much hope that the right man will be there when you venture out again.  Hugs

LuckyLass Thank You. Unfortunately i have more surgery and treatment to come all on my face and i just feel if there does come a time when i am healed it is going to be too late as i am 69 now. Men seem to have plenty of choice so aren't going to choose someone covered in scars. I never go anywhere to meet anyone and dating sites tend to go very much on appearances.