Hello
I am in for surgery this week after what seems forever. It's not, and I know there are others with bigger issues.
I woke from a Covid haze in April and found a small pimple with a dark centre just in front of my ear. It doubled in size each week. I sent photos to GP, (they are still not seeing patients in person).
The first GP prescribed a fungicide cream. I applied for ten days as instructed. I think I was just moisturising it as it continued to grow.
So unpleasant and useless was this thing, I nicknamed it 'Stiltskin'
Keen to get a human to look at my new fixture in real time, I trotted off to my friendly Pharmacist who looked on in horror and said 'Go back to GP with all haste.'
I walked up to the GP Receptionist and pulled back my hair to show her and she physically re-coiled. As instructed, I uploaded 'Stiltskin's Photobook' to the practice website.
Two days later, GP phoned to tell me I had what appeared to be a Basal Cell Carcinoma and had been referred and put onto the two week cancer care pathway.
Four weeks later, I was seen by a Dermatology Consultant who said it was a Squamous Cell Carcinoma and said he was passing me onto a Maxillo Facial Consultant because of the location of the beastie. There is a lymph gland (pre-auricular) and the Parotid Gland underneath. For comfort, he told me I would be having a one-sided face-lift.
And then nothing. I chased for information via the Consulatant's secretary and the Patient Advice and Liaison Service
All this time, I continued working in a customer facing environment as a civil servant. That has been my biggest stressor. I have very inexperienced line management and, clearly, being exposed to guidance on equality, diversity, and well-being, does not necessarily mean it is a lived experience. And do not get me started on mental health first aiders!
'Stiltskin' continued to change. I accidentally knocked it and the middle of the growth fell out so a dressing was necessary and all day, every day people were asking what was wrong with my face. Constantly explaining was exhausting. I took time off work due to anxiety issues.
To expedite an end, I decided to make enquiries privately and saw a Consultant at the end of June, thinking that at least the thing would be dealt with quickly and I could put it all on the credit card. This Consultant thought it could be a Seborrheic keratoses, or a Squamous cell carcinoma, or a Basal cell carcinoma. She had no space in her diary for the following week but would get her Secretary to contact me. Nothing from her. Two weeks later an appointment arrived from the NHS.
This Thursday is the day.
'Stiltskin' has degraded and dropped off on the surface but there is still an area that is raised and scaly. There is a new patch above the site. I have Tinnitus in that ear but not sure if that is an after-gift from Covid rather than this growth.
From start to that date is nearly 16 weeks.
I do not write this as a moan but as an account of how I have felt and feel.
The differing diagnoses, the pressures from line management, the unrealistic and unproven time-frames have all added to my current state that sees me medicated on Sertraline.
I am over 60. I did not grow up in the age of social media. I am of the 'don't discuss your dirty laundry in public' and 'keep calm and carry on' brigade. I work in a 'talking therapy' environment. Social mores insist I share constantly to friends, family, customers, line management etc. I am not acculturated to do that but I can write to people I have never met who may understand my ramblings.
My age in the workplace has worked against me during this period.
To all who ready this, I wish you health, peace and, most importantly to me, quiet. xxx
