It's all just too much

Hi JRD I am so sorry to read your post and learn of your losses as well as your melanoma diagnosis.  I have had 2 basal cell cancers removed from my face 3 years ago now.  Like you I am now paranoid of the sun, and also like you I have always used sun cream, holiday in England, never used a sun bed and been very careful.  My first holiday in Cornwall after my diagnosis was horrendous, but since then I have learned to be extra cautious, cover up as much as possible, with hats and long sleeved clothing and use copious amounts of Factor 50 suncream, which I use every day on my face, as directed by my plastic surgeon.  I use Boots No 7 facial sun cream Factor 50 as part of my make up regime.  He told me never even hang the washing out without sun cream on, which is a bit dramatic.  I am 75 and my Consultant did say the damage could have been done in childhood, and they are also age related things too.  This site is brilliant, been my life line talking with people in the same boat as you. Please keep in touch and always happy to chat if you need to rant. xx

Hi JRD

Firstly, can I say sorry to hear of your melanoma diagnosis and also for your losses.

I found this site about a month ago following my diagnosis for malignant melanoma on the back of my leg in August 24. I had wider surgery in Decrmber 24. 

Since then, I have found things hard, initially thinking that I was very much alone. If I am honest, and I don't claim to have gone through as much as you have, the NHS cancer journey at the moment isn't the best. I just really wish I'd known about these forums sooner. It's made me realise I am not alone with the way I've been feeling, I'm not a fraud and it is reassuring to find others who have experienced similar feelings and experiences.  I was told that I'd basically been firefighting and not been looking after myself. 

I have also been extremely careful in the sun and made sure my girls and husband are the same. I am also more paranoid about being outside now and have a nice range in floppy sunhats. As Harlyn said, this could have happened when you were a child, despite all the precautions you've taken.  I am 53 years of age. 

I have also been working on my own wellbeing using a programme called Silver Cloud through my work and their links with bupa. This has also helped me through CBT with a bupa supporter. It doesn't change you overnight, but helps you to focus more on the positives, for example my two amazing girls, my sisters and my husband. I'm also getting out walking more and gardening, both of which I hadn't been doing. 

Please stay in touch, I for one have found this site invaluable. Sending you the most enormous of hugs.