New diagnosis

Hello TJflower 

A warm welcome to the group although i am so sorry to find you joining us. We are a decent bunch and are all happy to answer any questions you may have from personal experience.

Some of us have recorded our personal journey and you can read this by clicking on our names or avatars - you will see everyone has a different journey.

Feel free to ask anything, nothing is too trivial.

If you also would like to join the pancreatic cancer group - here's the link you need:

Pancreatic cancer forum 

Just click on the link i have provided and it will take you there.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thank you so much for your reply,I am very reassured to know there are people who will know what we are experiencing as a family and will be able to help or just listen.I am,even at this early stage,so glad you are there.Thank you

Hi TJflower

It is an anxious time, we do know that!  I am not sure but I suspect it can be more anxious for the family as I have a feeling that as the patient I know I will be looked after.  - this is just something I have been reflecting on lately and not a point of view. But I do know how important the support of family is, to the patient and to each other so you have made a wise decision to come here for help.  And by the way there is also Prostate Cancer UK who have a great website and some very good support materials- their Toolkit is very comprehensive. Both them and this site provide an excellent support helpline so please do not feel shy about giving them a ring if you feel you need to talk.

We are here to help/support/listen so please use this forum to ask/question/rage/vent, we don’t mind!

All the very best to you and your father

KrisPy

Thank you for being there,and I hope in time I will be able to offer support to others who are experiencing what we all are whether as someone with cancer or a family member.

Welcome, TJ. I am truly sorry about your dad’s diagnosis, but you are not alone in this; we are firmly in your corner.

When facing two heavy diagnoses at once, it helps to focus your strength:
 * Surrender what is beyond your reach: You cannot dictate biology, test results, or timelines. Wishing any of that was different will add to your burden. Some things can't be changed.
 * Direct your energy toward what you can influence: Showing up, asking the doctors the clear questions, making dad comfortable and occupied with whatever he needs, wants and can have. Organising things. Accepting that many people are stressed, and putting up with people. Really importantly, look after your own basic needs every day. When you're cleaning your teeth, think about the sensation and taste and purpose of the activity. Sounds mad, but it changes my day. "Mindfulness" is all about living the moment. 
 * Separate or "compartmentalise" that which you can't influence and that which you can. Accept the first and do what you can with the second. Try not to mix them up. This will preserve your sanity.

When you need to vent, ask questions, or just lean on people who get it, people are here for this.

Lemsip

That is all really useful advice and I know we will all have to find our own way through this,but I am grateful for any thing at this point.Many thanks