Advanced prostate cancer with bone metases

Welcome to this wonderful club, albeit one you would rather not have joined.

My husband was diagnosed with pca with bone mets too, five years ago. He could only have the hormone treatment and up till the last year this has kept his psa count relatively low, having been 1200 at the start.

However unfortunately, his psa is now rising and he can only really have palliative care. He has many other health issues and after a stroke last year, has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. He too forgets that he cannot do things and that he has cancer. The fatigue and tiredness goes with the treatment unfortunately and I don't think there is any way round that. Lots of the guys here will tell you that exercise is very important, but in the last few years and prior to diagnosis, I am afraid my husband has done very little in the way of that, which does not help.

Yes, I think taking each day as it comes is a good idea but maybe once the radiotherapy has finished, why not make some plans. You don't say what age he is but, assuming he is retired, maybe some day trips or short weekend breaks would not be too difficult for him and give you something to plan.

My husband is currently in hospital following a fall and cracking four ribs. He then subsequently fell in the night in the cottage hospital he is in at present and we think has broken another two the other side. We are now awaiting a bed in a rehab facility so that we can at least get some physio daily with the aim of getting him at least able to get up and walk to the toilet on his own which is where he was before his fall. As your husband's diagnosis is relatively recent, I would suggest doing all you can now, just in case his health deteriorates, but it may be years before it does. I know my husband's cancer is not curable, but it has been successfully treated now for five years and with the more recently available treatments and chemo, his outcome may well be a lot better than my husband's.

Best regards

Gina

Hi Gina. Thank you for your reply. You are right; we do some short day trips, and shorter walks or bench walks as I call them. He has gone from a fairly fit 70+  where we used to walk and hike in hills/mountains, play golf, to being quite limited in exercise, metases in hip/pelvis and back, so no lifting and twisting, but I try and encourage to do a little every week. 

Like your husband we have been told it's not curable or operable. I think once we get through radiotherapy we will be re evaluating with team and see what's next.  As many posts have said its life changing and that's so true but trying to adapt and fund other ways and methods to do the things he enjoys.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband and the fall. It's a worry. My husband can be quite unsteady and collapsed a few weeks ago so an emergency admission but nothing broken.

Like many carers/partners we carry on and support as positively as we can. I wish you and your husband very best wishes. You've been on this journey much longer than we have. Take care of yourself too. 

Hello Selina (Selina19649c) 

A belated warm welcome to the group from me - I am sorry to find you joining us but this is a great place for help and advice or just a place to vent away from your loved ones.

Sadly the side effects of Hormone Therapy can be wide ranging but the fatigue and "brain fog" are the hardest two to cope with.

Radiotherapy is easy compared to HT and Chemotherapy the hardest part being travelling to and parking for the appointments - so it's one thing not to worry about.

Feel free to ask any questions here, however trivial you may find them or if you just need a chat there's usually someone about.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thank you. Appreciate the support. The short memory loss is more than brain fog unfortunately as my husband was diagnosed with MCI about 2 years ago. I think the physical effects of cancer are easier to deal with as I go into practical mode, but I do a lot of reptition and as he forgets appts, reviews, instructions, feedback, I am often the bearer of bad news. But we get through it and I am learning not to get frustrated 

Ah Selina (Selina19649c) I can appreciate that. I am 70 and write myself notes and "to do lists" - I can remember things clearly from years ago but forget things I have been told in the last few days!!

Selina19649c said:

But we get through it and I am learning not to get frustrated 

That's great and it will b a big help to both of you.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thank you for sharing your journey. I wish you well

Awe Gina    So sorry to hear your husband had broken ribs . I do hope he gets into he rehab unit soon and they can stabilise his walking gait which will hopefully stop the falls. 

I also hope you are ok and taking some much needed time to relax.  

hugs to you both 

Liz & OH xx

You have spelt out my summer in a nutshell. The tiredness and complete breakdown of normal life and plans. It’s a nightmare while you’re in the middle of the storm.

But things will get better and with confidence you will be able to plan again. Not in extravagant ways but within your new normal which will stretch and bend to your will.

Don't despair. Don’t panic. We are challenged but we can overcome anything, if you want to — not the medical but certainly the mental side of things. So stay strong and walk that pathway where it takes you and take care.

Thank you for your supportive message. The new normal- so true. Once you accept things are different and work within new parameters it does become easier.