my hubby is 81 and has been diagnosed with prostrate cancer and alzimers ( and gall stones , )

Hi Gina.

Good evening and welcome to the prostate family we are all here to offer you both support and advice.

I am very sorry to hear about your husband we do have many wife's/carers on here and I do hope that you will receive contact from them shortly.

Wow you are in quite a predicament currently I would suggest that you give our helpline a call on this number: 0808 00 00 they are here from 8am - 8pm.

I myself was recently diagnosed with Terminal Prostate Cancer last June and luckily since I have started Hormone Therapy the PSA number has dropped from 1000+ to 0.2.

I am having another PSA Test & appointment with my consultant at the end of this month so fingers crossed for the results.

I do hope that more members get in contact with you and if this anything that I can do to help/support you with please please let me know???

Prostate Worrier.

hi , i’m sorry to hear you tonare suffering from this condition, and i’m happy that the treatment seems to be helping you and reducing your symptoms, unfortunately y husband has said he doesn’t want any treatment at all for either the cancer or the alzheimer’s,

i wish you the very best in your treatment ,  , 

Gena, there's nothing like "a stubborn Geordie".  I've been one for years.

The toilet accidents are embarrassing, we all go through them.  I had pads through the local district nurse.  They were that big, you could have stitched 6 together and made a quilt!

If you and your daughter can just be there for him through this, he will really appreciate it (even if he is a stubborn Geordie).

It looks like you have a lot on your plate.  Hope everything goes well.

Does your husband go to the Freeman Hospital in Newcastle?  There's a great Maggie's centre behind it.  They have a good men's Prostate Cancer Support Group every 4th Tuesday of the month at 13:30

Hi Gina.

Many thanks for your reply and happiness that my Hormone Therapy is working.

I am very sorry to hear that your husband won't have any treatment that really puts you in a difficult place!!!

Can I suggest that you phone our helpline as I do hope that they can offer you some more support and advice.

We do have some specialist cancer nurses who you can also talk to which might be helpful.

Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you both??

Prostate Worrier.

Hi Gena7.

A warm welcome from a wife and carer here.

I am sorry to hear of the problems you are having. To have the double whammy of a diagnosis of Alzheimers and prostate cancer gives you extra problems, particularly as your husband is refusing to acknowledge that he has a problem. Has the doctor told you whether the cancer is still confined to the prostate or has it spread? This will give you a better idea of how it is likely to affect your husband over time.

The main thing is to look after yourself. Being a carer can be very tiring so you need to make sure that you don't neglect your own interests or health needs.

Whilst my husband was having radiotherapy we found that he had less control of his bladder. He was acutely embarrassed so I just went out and bought a pack of Tena for men level 2 pads plus a pack of mens Tena pants and left them in the toilet. He hadn't realised that such things existed on the supermarket shelves so maybe you could try this. I have also taken the precaution of putting a waterproof mattress cover on the bed, along with a spare in case of middle of the night accidents. Another tip is to take a spare pair of trousers and underpants with you when you go out if he starts to have problems when away from home.

Please come back with any questions, if you want a rant or if you just want support. There is always someone here to listen.

Always hope, That was an amazing post!

Good Morning Gena7 Gena - Another warm welcome to the Prostate forum from me.

I am so sorry to see you here under the circumstances. I see you have already (on the advice from Mike - The Highlander)  joined the Carers Only forum - you should receive plenty of help and advice there too.

I see from reading the posts above you have had some fantastic advice with some cracking ideas how to help your husband - I can only say again, if you have not already done so, please give our support line a call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week).- they will be able to give you some extra help and advice.

If there is anything you wish to ask feel free to do so - if you just want a chat and support for yourself we are here for that too.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Stevecam, hubby left his beloved Newcastle years ago when his family moved for work in the coal mines , but we used to go back regularly as most of his family remained there , But he’s still a geordie at heart, and a true supporter of his NUFC team, he always says his blood is black and white striped, life is made more difficult regarding the toilet accidents due to the fact he’s completely forgotten he’s got prostrate cancer due to the alzimers ,,, and it would be cruel to keep reminding him , anyway ,,, at the time of diagnosis he completely refused any treatment for both his conditions, how can i get him to wear a pad ,,,when he’s forgotten everything,,,, and with  the  alzimers he can become verbally aggressive,,,, so there’s no chance for now i can get him to wear them, but i appreciate your help , 

Gena 

hi , thankyou for your response,and yes i will definitely be getting in touch with specialist nurses, thanks again , 

hi  always hope ,  thankyou for replying , yes it is very difficult, as my husband refused any treatment but agreed to have psa tests every 3 months ,,,, the results are sent to him and he just rips them up , my daughter has lasting power of attorney for us both ,,, but that doesn’t mean we can intervene and make him have treatment , i have written to his consultant and explained the position im in and i’ve asked him to tell me if it’s confined or spread ,,,at least i’ll know that , fingers crossed he will divulge the information. thankyou ,