Post surgery incontinence

It affects each of us differently. I am 10 months post surgery and still have an issue. Still doing pelvic floor exercises. No matter what, you learn to live with it and work around it. I am still hiking mountainsides, motorcycling, flying. Carry enough pads for the day and little black baggies to put them in. One just has to plan the bathroom stops a little more carefully. I hope it fixes itself, but if it does not, the alternative was a lot worse.

Oh it is such really early days for your husband. Those words may not help but it is a fact. The incontinence really, really pulled me down for the first 4 to 5 months post surgery. Then suddenly leakage improved considerably. Then I would have the odd bad day and I thought I was back to square one but the next day it would improve again. I found with the improvements at that time that mentally I was accepting the situation better. And with acceptance came the realisation that I could manage and control it pretty well. Now 11 months post op it is not completely resolved. I still leak a bit but am able to just wear washable incontinence pants and they easily last me a day. Now I feel that if it does not resolve itself completely then I can live with that. So many men and women have this problem (and worse) for all sorts of reasons. We are all different in the time frame. Hopefully your husband will be one of the fortunate ones who recovers quickly. The main thing is though for him to keep his spirits up, think positively AND MOST OF ALL BE PATIENT.

Thank you so much for your help and positive outloo. I hope things keep improving for you. 

Thank you so much for your advice I actually said last night it’s baby steps forward and sometimes backwards too, but try nog to stress about it, your reply backs this up. 

Hi Static,

When you say leakage improved considerably, did you do anything different?  Or were you persevering with exercises and you think they started working?

My husband is waiting for surgery but I have a feeling he is going to be someone who struggles when things don’t go well straight away.  I’m steeling myself to be supportive, but reading everyone’s different experiences is really useful for me.

No experience here, yet, but I’ve a feeling I’ll be following along behind you soon.  Sending love and hoping the post op recovery continues without any complications and he can. Get his head around how to deal with the incontinence in the (hopefully) short to mid term.

In reply to Mainly a Mum - As I said in my response, the incontinence hit me really, really hard. I was told by my consultant and also CNS that it was a likely contender but I don't think anything could have prepared me for that afternoon when my catheter was removed. I disregarded what was stated in the help sheets and what I was instructed to do and I was doing pelvic floor exercises every hour thinking the more the better. My CNS told me off when she realised what I was doing at 4 / 5 months post and said it will be doing more harm than good. Being an un-brave type when it comes to being told off by a lady, I immediately reduced down to 3 times a day. One week later and things improved considerably really over night and I was down from three or four pads a day to one or two. I will never know whether that was just coincidence, whether the hourly exercises really did good or whether the reduction in excercises was the answer. I still do my pelvic floor exercises and envisage I will do for ever more.

Hi Static, I’m reassured by your comments. I’m only 10 weeks post surgery and realistically (as well as according to my CNS) I’m in pretty much the right place continence-wise. I vary between a couple of pads a day to four or five. (Tena 2 or 3).

The nurse also told me that it is normal to be upset by the incontinence. In truth I am finding it very stressful and have now started looking for a therapist in my area as I know I need the support. Ideally I’d like to get to a place where I can take it in my stride a bit more and to find the faith that I’ll be one of the 80-90% of guys who improve over time.
I do pelvic floor 10 long - 10 short twice a day and 4L 4s in the evening. One coffee in the morning. No fizzy drinks or alcohol. The nurse told me not to expect improvement for at least 12 weeks. And to STOP  counting pads and wishing it would end.

It’s also important to remember that robot/keyhole/nerve sparing surgery is a vast improvement on the options available not long ago. And may add 15 - 20 years to life expectancy with prostate cancer.

My husband has been seeing an NHS physio every month since his surgery and she has told him to do the exercises no more than 6 times a day, in addition to when he is getting up from sitting. She said that any more than this can actually hinder progress because the muscles get tired.

He's only just started to try the Tena shields that he got free from the NHS and they're definitely not adequate at this stage. He is more confident with the incontinence pants and is down to one pair during the day and one at night. He tried wearing the shield yesterday when he went for his appointment with the physio and in spite of going to the toilet several times, at the surgery and in the bushes he had a leak on the way home and ended up having to change shields in the woods. Luckily he had a raincoat with him so he could carry it in front of him to hide the wet patch on his trousers.

Are the shields what they gave him after surgery?  We’ve been told he’ll be given a small supply but not to buy any more at this stage.  I’m a little concerned if what they give out might not be sufficient.