Maggie's again

Hi KJ911,

I have been there; thinking I am in control and then finding out that I was far from it.  Is Maggie's a form of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT)?  

I had CBT about 5 months after my operation and like you I found out just how much I had been hiding and lying to myself.  It took about 9 sessions to work through all my issues and to arrive at a set of tools that help.  I have great days and still the odd bad day like today.  Friday's are always my worst day of the week as I am now retired and my wife works a shift from 7 am on Friday to 9 am on Saturday.  I find it so hard being without her to cheer me up, but the tools that get me through do work.  I use meditation to calm myself and to focus on what is triggering me.  Then I take control of that situation and work on it.  At the moment, my current down mood is because I have a weak back after surgery and can't pick up my nearly 4 year old granddaughter.  It sounds silly but I feel sad that I miss out, but also guilty because it means my wife has to do all the heavy lifting when I have already been such a burden on her while I was recovering from the operation.  It's the little things that get me when I am on my own.  To take control, I will be looking to improve my diet and plan to talk to my doctor and get a physio referral.  My clinic has a physio who sees people on two days a week and the waiting list is about 4 weeks.

I so hope you get the same benefits, if it is CBT or something similar.  Please never stop venting on here as we all want to support you and cheer you on.

Hello KJ911 

Thank you for starting this thread - many people would just "bottle up" their thoughts and emotions so you, bringing yours out into the open will help others to know that they are not alone. 

A cancer diagnosis and the subsequent treatment with all it's side effects is a life changing event. Everyone reacts in a very different way. Help is there but first of all you need to recognise that you need help and then you need to reach out for it.

For anyone reading this post - here are a few options you may consider:

* Maggie's - this is a cancer charity where you can call in, no appointment needed and over a tea or coffee you can chat to their staff and be pointed in the direction of specialist help - Maggie's,

* AndyManClub - Although set up as a suicide prevention charity they offer help with your mental health - AndysManClub.

* Men's Sheds - Again - somewhere for men to gather and talk - Men' Sheds.

* Information on Talking-therapies.

* IF it's all too much please do contact Samaritans - 24 hours a day - call 116 123,

* There's our Support Line too on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week.

* If you wish to vent in writing here's a link for you The Room - a little space you can vent post and then close the door and walk away.

The Community is always here for you - my message box is open, no friends request needed if you wish to contact me with a private message - we are all in this together.

To KJ911 and Paul65plus1 - Thank you for your posts. I hope by posting this has helped you both in your personal circumstances and remember you are not alone - we are here for you.

Kind regards - Brian.