Post Surgery Concerns

Hello HCat 

I thought I would reply to your post as it's been unanswered after almost 18 hours and by me replying it will be "bumped up" to the top of the page and I hope seen and answered by others who have had surgery.

I can't answer your specific questions as I still have 90% of my prostate (the NHS keep taking bits!!). I thought it was only us poor sods on Hormone Therapy who had "hot sweats". I don't know what's causing your's but Sage Tablets cured mine - they don't work for everyone.

Here's a link or two which I hope may help;

Sex-life-and-prostate-cancer.

Elvin-on-how-having-a-prostatectomy-has-affected-his-sex-life.

I hope the above helps.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi HCat,

I also get very mild night sweats since the operation.  I had my op in June 2024 and from that day forward I have had mild issues with my body regulating its heat.  During the winters since the op I have found myself getting so hot that I throw off the duvet and then wake up several hours later freezing cold.  I have reported this to my GP, but they don't say much beyond confirming it can happen.  In my case it's not worth pushing for more help and I just live with it.  I would say that this is not the same as the sweats that the poor guys on hormones experience.

It is the most natural thing for ED to play on your mind, so don't let it concern you and well done for coming to the right place to discuss it.  Do you know if you had nerve sparing or non-nerve sparing?  In my case I had non-nerve sparing and as such I don't have to worry about erections as I am 95% certain to never have a natural erection again.  The fact that you have pills makes me think you had 'nerve sparing' and have a good chance of recovering erections.  My trust won't give me pills as I had 'non-nerve sparing'.

I found that a month or two of using a pump was necessary before I got hard enough for a ring to work for penetration.  Even then the pump can be a bit hit and miss for the quality of my erections, so after a discussion with my wonderful wife, we decided to buy a dildo and harness.  The dildo was hollow and we mix that into our love life.  These can be purchased from Amazon for a reasonable price.  It has allowed us to explore some fantasies that previously we never dreamed we could.

I would urge you to embrace this time and look to find creative ways of expressing you love for each other; if you already are then keep going!  Over two years we have not stopped working on making things exciting and despite concerns about my PSA levels slowly rising we are having the most wonderful second honeymoon, lol.

Hello Paul (Paul65plus1 ) 

Can I just say a big THANK YOU for such a helpful. personal, open and honest post on a difficult subject. It a question I can't answer as I have been on "the hormones experience".

Indeed thank you for sticking around the Community and being a valuable contributor - I am aware this isn't your first rodeo.

Kind regards - Brian.

Hello HCat,

This is my experience and everyone is likely to be different.  I had radical surgery early Jan 2025.  There was a possibility that the surgeon could not spare the nerves on one side but he said he would do his best.  In the post op chat he never really elaborated on how much nerves he saved and I was under the impression it would be only the one side (I may be wrong), however started off thinking well on one side works.  But to me the cancer being cut out was more important than sex life.  I also had to have the catherter in for two weeks becasue they said they wanted to make sure the join to the bladder was fully healed.  That scared me into not rushing thinking that I may tear the join.  Anyway the surgeon prescribed Tadafil 20mg which I take twice a week and I got a VED pump.  At the end of March 2025, I started doing the VED daily exercises for 4 weeks.  Then didn't bother much with the pump.

The two most important aspects I found were to not expect quick results as this plays on the mind.  Once the mind is under pressure to perform then the erections won't happen.  Secondly the love and support of my wife, who never put me under pressure.

I also masturbated without telling my wife.  Although my member was droopy and downwards, I took it as a positive that at least blood was going in (even if I felt that was due to only half nerves saved).  Take very little improvement as a win.  But don't put any pressure to perform or wishing for fantastic results.  What will happen will happen.  Over time my erections during mastubation improved.

The real big indicator for me was natural erections overnight.  In late July I had my first natural erection and I thought hello.  So I continued with masturbation without my wife knowing.  And occasionally we tried the VED to pump me up for intercourse.  I personally don't like it as the penis is cold.  Also the pump is very messy and sometimes doesn't work.

It was September when I had sex unaided with full erection for the first time.  This didn't mean it works and everything is ok.  It is still hit or miss but I find when I put myself under pressure it doesn't work.  I would say probably now June 2026,  the spontanous sex life is nearly back to pre-diagnosis levels.  If anything the Tadafil makes my erections firmer, so I was probably on the wane as  I was getting older.  But as I said it might still be hit or miss but my whole approach to this has been if it works great if not then try again some other time.  My wife is very supportive during this period.  

Just take you time and always be positive about any gain and see where you get to.  Loads of hugs with the missus is just as good.

Another THANK YOU LDL for an open, helpful, honest post on a subject which is very personal to us all.

 Kind regards - Brian.