Dad

You can’t look after anyone else without looking after yourself. Number one first, always. So relax and let the agencies do their thing who will do what you don’t.

Your reactions are instinctive and I don’t mean by work I mean by family. Your work ability is confusing you but your skills are welcome. But don’t overstep. Let them do some work as well.

So don’t worry, you are not alone because we are here. Ask and ye shall have. Tell us what is going on via the profile page. We can better help you.

Take care

Hello Moontravel 

A warm welcome to the online Community, although I am so sorry to find you joining us.

A Prostate diagnosis at 88 (or any age) isn't what you want, and I am aware he has a urology meeting this week. You say you have seen a decline in his health since Christmas:

* At the meeting this week you need to make urology aware of his comorbidities and consider if the side effects of any treatment will make his quality of life worse.

* As we all ask different questions - here's a link to help you put together some questions for dad's team: Questions to ask your healthcare team.

We have a couple of other groups you may wish to join on the Community for extra support and the links to these are here:

Carers only forum and Emotional support forum 

Just click on the links I have provided for you and they will take you there. Remember our Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) is also there for you.

Just a reminder that as dad has tested positive for Prostate Cancer, your husband and sons are at a higher risk of developing the cancer and they should go for early testing.

I hope the above helps -please do come back to us and let us know how dad gets on.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Moontravel 

Prostate cancer (PCa) is generally very slow growing and one of the advantages of growing old (there aren’t many) is that your metabolism slows down.  So for someone to be diagnosed at 88, chances are it won’t kill them.  That said, there are many drugs to put the cancer into hibernation. What I am trying to say is that PCa isn’t the big deal it was just 20 years ago.

We could do with more information about his diagnosis to help you further. You are obviously a loving daughter and the best you can do for him is continue to give him your support.  

Just to pick up on Brian’s (Millibob ) comment, your husband won’t be at increased risk if it is your father.  But always very wise to get a baseline PSA test.  Your sons will be at extra risk, so please encourage them to get tested.

Look after yourself as my friend Mr U has already advised.

Hi all,

Thankyou so much for your input it means a lot. My dad hasn't been well for some time and typical of him didn't want to see a gp! Aboit four weeks ago his legs and ankles were swollen and in my lovely daughterly way persuaded him to get the gp. They first suspected a clot and that was clear, his blood test showed low haemoglobin and sodium and dr wanted him to have a heart scan and bowel test thing but he refused. Eventually we got 111 out as he wasn't able to pee very well and after a gp appointment he was told to go to a and e, blood shower d dimer of 7000 and infection markers raised to 197. His ongoing symptoms are; rapid weight loss, numbness in hands and feet, poor apetite and swallowing, backache, poor mobilty, tiredness general frailoty and muscle mass loss, he also spent three nights sleeping in a chair as he said he thought he had cracked a rib? Obviously after the hospital scan and the lyptic bone legions it seems like this is probably further on and he hasn't said anything earlier aboit how hes been feeling? It's just been a shock and quite overwhelming for us all, as you will all know. We're just waiting urology tommorow to see what is said but thankyou all.

Annie