It doesn't get any easier

I've got my blood test tomorrow too, and I agree it doesn't get easier. All the 'What if' thoughts are coming to mind and you have to chase them away.

G

I know just how you feel the 3 monthly dread, then the relief.

Take care x

Sheena 

Hello Shar

Yes, I can understand just how you and others have test and scan anxiety - It's normal and there's nothing you can do about it.

Strange as it may be - but I am now over 4 years into this journey, and yes I have had some "bad" PSA tests, and I have given up worrying, hence the title of my own thread - Que Sara Sara!

Lorraine (Mrs Millibob) does all our worrying for me now, I keep telling her I can't change the test results - but nothing will stop here worrying. 

I hope all is well on Thursday.

Best wishes - Brian.

Lucky you getting a call from the Oncology nurse with the PSA result. I am on annual tests and usually have to call the Urology department several times to get a secretary to look up the result for me. It is getting better as I only had to call twice last year. 

Hi Shar ,

Your hubby’s status is great and since the chemo PSA undetectable so what’s the reasons behind your anxiety and have you tried talking therapies?

I’m now a changed person about the PSA tests but every other test/results lay me low. I’ve had many sessions with professional therapists who have allowed me to understand more my brain and how it works. The coping strategies are the real deal and that’s where I am now. So whenever the test anxiety rears its ugly head im more prone to wait comfortably until I can be told F2F what the results are. So I recommend counselling.

What chemo did your hubby get? I couldn’t see it on your bio. I had carboplatin for 6 sessions but couldn’t get the last session due to side effects and illness.

I’m 61 and on the inside I scream when I see older people running or messing around with grandkids etc. I feel really unlucky and wonder why I can’t live to an average age of thee score and ten (plus), I’m not happy at all that I’ve been picked for a illness whereby my family and friends but mostly my Darling wife gets affected with my condition and has to put up with my test result anxiety like you do. It’s my wife that gets the worst of it, every time.

I wish you well for Thursdays results, I’m sure they will be undetectable as was the previous tests. Get some help for yourself because you need it. The weight of your hubbies cancer illness is too heavy to carry without help.

Good luck

Thank you for your lovely and very caring reply. I used to be a counsellor so I am trying to counsel myself lol. My anxiety is that I worry the treatment will one day stop working and then what. It is a question I darent ask the team although I keep reminding myself that when he was diagnosed the oncologist said he had many years. Counselling can be really helpful but I think this is really locked into me and that is where the problem is. Thank you. 

We are very lucky. Nurse rings with the results. Tells him when to have his next blood test and then makes an appointment there and then when she will ring after the test which is usually 2 days after. All you want is the results, it's not too much to ask given what everyone goes through. We can't even look on the app as the hospital don't put the results on there.

Sorry forgot to say the chemo was doxetacal if spelt right 

I’m led to believe from years of watching tv that a counsellor cannot counsel themselves. I do wish you did get some counselling. That aside the worry you have is the unknown.

I’ve had it spelt out in triplicate my what if’s, which both scares me and allows the control freak in me to behave.

I’m currently off treatment while I take a break. I do know that this is a massive decision and the wrong decision from the point of survival. However it gives me a break from the torture of both the treatment side effects and the regularity of worrying tests and results.

The three months will be up soon and new pains will obviously be at the front of what comes next for treatment. Having the facts allows me to be able to stay calm in an awful situation. I’m not saying you should ask more questions, that’s up to you, but maybe there’s room for a change in your stance and awareness of this hideous position we find ourselves in.

Saying all that, I know my decision effects my Darling so much, which hurts me, but I’ve made my bed.

I wish you have a brilliant result on Thursday.

Good luck

Thank you it was tongue in cheek about me counselling myself.