Two consultations?

Hi Missy, it is not unusual to have more than one consultant. If your father goes down the radiotherapy route then he will see an oncologist. If he goes for the op he will see a urology surgeon.  All consultants are specialists in their own field so you wouldn’t get, say an orthopaedic surgeon planning radiotherapy or chemo in the same way as you wouldn’t get a solicitor mending your house roof.

my husband is collecting consultants for his various ‘issues’ - haematology, urology, oncology and ophthalmology!

similarly, the NHS works very much on the basis of informed consent. They must tell the patient about all potential risks and the patient must sign a consent form to say that full information has been given and that he/ she consents to whatever procedure. This applies to everything so long as you have capacity ie you can’t be made to stay in hospital against your will, they can’t force you to have your blood pressure taken or to have a wash or to get out of bed!obviously for these more minor procedures consent is not required but if a patient says ‘no’ then it does not happen.

your Dad needs to have all this info so he can make his own informed decisions about what he thinks is the best option for him. Once he has decided which way to go, I think you will all feel a bit better and be able to focus on getting him through his chosen  treatment.

HTH and I do wish you all well

Thank you so much for your reply. That makes perfect sense! It’s an oncologist on Tuesday he’s seeing so it makes sense that it must be the urologist he’s seeing on Thursday considering it’s this appointment he’s had to fill out the questionnaire regarding keyhole surgery. I really appreciate your reply xx 

Hi Missy. You will find out more when you meet with the sepcialists. What I would say is that your father has received these appointments very quickly after the diagnosis so it seems that your team(s) are really on the ball. A real plus. It is important to read all the information you have been given and as much more you can lay your hands on. This forum is an excellent source for informtion and advice and Prostate Cancer UK has a wealth of information in publications which are free to download or in paper form if you so wish. I was diagnosed in July and was given the option of surgery or radiotherapy. I chose surgery for various reasons, although I was absolutely petrified of going into hospital and having the operation. Everyone is different in their choice for all sorts of reasons. My consultant insisted I had a meeting with an oncologist before I made my choice, even though I had already decided from what I had read on this forum and in the publication. All the information brings with it more and more confusion but our brains sift through it and the confusion changes to a decision. All the treatments come with potential adverse after effects. I have them but I came to accept them fairly quickly and indeed much is now improving. I feel very very fotuneate that the cancer was found just in time for me to have the operation. I wish your father well.

Thanks very much for your reply. I really appreciate all the information. May I ask how your recovery was in the weeks after the op? Thanks 

Hi, can I chime in if I may. 

My husband opted for surgery but also had to see the radiotherapist before making his final choice. 

Once the surgery was done (robotic keyhole) he had a catheter for two weeks (was longer than normal due to circumstances) and then had to wear pads as he had some leakage, especially on standing from sitting or getting up from bed. Exercising and cold were also a triggers but keeping up with his pelvic floor exercises and learning to hold it instead of rushing straight to the loo saw him regain his continence fairly quickly. We went to Disney world in Florida three months after his operation and whilst he wore a pad, he never had any accidents.

Good luck to your dad in whatever route he takes. 

Thank you very much for your reply. That’s really encouraging. Especially hearing you were able to travel 3 months later. My dad is stressing about us all missing out on holidays (we all go together as a family) I told him we don’t care about holidays right now! We just want him to be ok. 

I will jump back to a couple of points before my op. Never a bigger scared baby would you have seen when I was diagnosed. I was petrified, which is just not like me. The Consultant said that it would be good if I lost weight as it is difficult to cut through fat. That worried me and so I lost weight rapidly from July to September and decreased my weight from 103 kg to 90 kg. The Consultant said that will make the op a lot easier. (I am still losing weight and am at 83 kg now). The nurse stressed that I should do kegals before the op. For some reason I did not understand how important they were and I only did them occationally up to the op. I think that was a mistake. The actual op was a breeze compared to how I imagined. I was up and walking the day after and that evening I went home. I was suffering from discomfort rather than pain. I slept downstairs on a reclining chair as I felt the stairs were too much to climb and also I was concerned about the catheter and bag. In fact I continued sleeping on the chair for a couple of months even when I was readily able to get up the stairs. I found the catheter to be a nightmare. It was very sore and I just felt depressed about it. I didn't go out and couldn't do much until it was removed a week later. That was a real turning point as I felt it had given me freedom. I was walking a few miles a day a couple of days later and driving short distances a few days later. What was a real shock and got me really down up to about two months ago, although I did know they would happen, was incontinence, ED and reduction in size of my little man. To begin with I just flooded out whenever I stood up or walked. I was fine lying down or sitting. I was using about 6 No. 3 pads a day inside incontinence pants. I was so embarrassed I wouldn't see anyone until around Christmas. I thought I was going to be a statistic and be like it for the rest of my life. I started to go mad on kegals after the op, doing them every hour until I was told off by my nurse. Since then I have been doing the three times a day. I find the Squeezy App, which costs a few pounds beneficial, although really it is not essential. Over the past two months however things have improved on that front. I now have control when I stand up so that I can go to the boys room. I can also usually go out to the shops and am fine as long as I stop at a toilet when I get there. Walking long distances, standing for a long time, sneezing and coughing are still a problem  but I am now down generally to 1 pad a day. I do have good and bad days though. What I would say is that I have found the Tena No. 3 pads to be the best of all those I have tried. They are more expensive but they seem to work the best. ED was a bit of a problem before the op as I have T2D. Far worse now. I am on 5mg of Tadalafil every day. I don't know if that helps but I believe anyway it is necessary to improve blood flow. Got a £200 vacuum pump on the NHS a few days ago which I am over the moon with and am fairly confident that is the answer to my prayers. Injections are available but I didn't fancy them.Littler little man, well, it was little beforehand so therefore nothing much lost in that respect. Oh, that reminds me, when I had the catheter in my little man had just about completely disappeared and I thought that was how it was going to be. But when the catheter came out, so did my little man thankfully. So now 5 months on - glad and relieved that I am alive and have a chance to grow into a moany old git, glad the prostate and all the cretins who were living it have gone, side effects - yes I have them but am now content to live with the residual from them but feeling very possitive now that things will improve, embarrassment - that is gone; I am seeing people and doing everything I was prior and quite happy to joke about it and have jokes thrown at me. Would I do i again - well thankfully I wont have to but yes I would. But the next time I would realise that it is a very slow and fairly tough recovery period but that each person is affected differently. Oh another thing I have done and that is I have given up alcohol and caffine drinks since the op. Now the latter was and is difficult. Hoping that giving up both of those is beneficial.