Shock diagnosis at 52

Hi,

First of, that absolutely sucks, there are no other words that can i can say.

I’m a daughter of a 56 year old who has just passed from pancreatic! i’m aware that sounds not hopeful at all, but here is the thing - my dad was my dad up until the very end. That’s what is most important for you!!!!! 

Me (19) and my sister (26) were obviously torn apart when my dad first got his diagnosis, and there are no words i can give that will actually comfort you. But what i can tell you is something to come back to when you need it, life is cruel, and with all this i’ve learnt it comes with the good bad and ugly. They say grief is the cost of love and i would without a doubt pick my dad and the love i have for him time and time again. 

Be patient with yourself, with the people around you, it’s crushing, but whats most important is keep being you. My dad stayed true to himself, watching football, pushing himself to do the things he loved, keep showing up and doing things for your girls but also yourself. 

You can message whenever you need, this is going to be a tough thing - i listened to heroes by david bowie throughout - it reminded me that we only have to be heroes for a day, enjoy each day, take a day a day at a time. 

Oh sweetheart, what an awful thing for you both to go through. your dad sounds like an amazing man and so thankful he was able to keep that for you. 

my son is 12 (just started high school) and daughter is 16 (just started sixth form) we live a full happy lives and although divorced have a good relationship with their dad. I have a gorgeous partner too and my parents who lost my brother when he was 27. 

At the moment they just know I have cancer in stomach, not what type as just giving them info as I get it. Petrified of internet and what they might read. 

really appreciate you reaching out, so thankful for that xx 

yes the internet comes with the good and bad! just try to remind them that everybody is different! no body is the exact person you are, we are all different so they can’t necessarily take anything from the internet as it’s going to happen to you!

also it’s about them staying them, now after my dad has passed i’ve realised that i actually was quite stable for someone going through something like this, but it’s because i handled it in the most me way i could - still laughing, going to uni etc, them being so young it’s completely different, similarly with the stomach cancer! just remind them of the good things in the world!! it’s easy to get caught up on the big losses!

and p.s you got this! you’re incredibly strong by even taking in that news! remind yourself that!!!!