Hi my husband was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer 18 months ago. At the time of his diagnosis we were totally distraught and I can honestly say I had a panic attack that lasted all night. I thought our life was over and that was too unbearable to absorb. How wrong I was. My husband went through a course of chemo and radiotherapy and for the past year we have been living and enjoying life, a simple life but a happy one.I wish I could have believed and imagined that senario at the start of this journey. At our latest appointment we were told that there were new growths on his lungs which could mean the cancer has spread and he will need further chemotherapy. After that appointment we were both in shock for a while. I thought back to the begining of this journey after he'd finished his chemo/radiotherapy treatment when he was feeling well.At that point I started to believe that the hospital was wrong and that really the biopsy was because of pancreatitis. Even when they said there were new growths on the lungs I thought they must be mistaken for some old lung injury I even posed the question to the Doctor. Now Ive at last truly accepted that this is our reality. I wonder if other people have been through that experience of complete and utter denial, but strangley what a blissful place that is. What this experience has given us most of all is a really profound feeling of gratitude, because life is precious and easily taken for granted.This past year we have been so lucky . Thanks to the treatment he had my husband has felt well and I know how lucky we are because of that. There are moments when Im so desperately sad because facing mortality is beyond difficult. We dont know what tommorow has in store but for today we are grateful.
