Hi there ,
I am new to the group. I have just dropped my work down to two days a week to help my elderly parents . My dads 86 and hobbling round with arthritis and has been looking after my mum who is 80 and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer around July 2021. She was going downhill fast and was quickly sent for a whipple operation in Liverpool followed by 6 months of chemo . She struggled to eat after the opp, was depressed . Eventually the let out after telling her she couldn’t go home ( after a month)until she’d gained weight. We couldn’t visit due to covid measures. She got quite aggressive verbally near the end of the chemo and was criticising me . My poor dad later was given a mouthful of hurtful stuff . She snapped at him when he just asked what she wanted for tea . After chemo her strength and mood slowly improved . We had no help or support just a district nurse came to clean her pic line .
she’s had a period of remission but in feb this year started feeling tummy troubles and a pain in her tum ( also like a band around her back) . This has been accompanied with poor appetite on and off , tiredness, nausea, diarrhoea , constipation . After a blood test and scan she was told the cancer had returned locally but was small. She suggested chemo, so they have started chemo for 3 mths and then 7consequative days of radiotherapy.
I am an only child and have two children , 22,25yrs. My husband and I moved in with my parents just before mum got sick. He works away from home 3 days a week. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it all or anyone’s experience so I have joined this group to hear others stories and support if I can . I worked for 16 months in a nursing home but this is different as it’s my mum and my parents are just next door . If I’m honest I sometimes struggle with knowing the best way to help my parents but also keep my own life going and my chin up as it were . I find the not knowing and the sense of doom of what is to come but not knowing how or when hard .
Hi Redsquirrel and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your mum has pancreatic cancer and it sounds like you've all been going through a really tough time.
As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the carers only group where you can talk to others who are in a similar position to yourself.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here, and join in with existing conversations by clicking on reply.
It would be great if you could pop something about your mum's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
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"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
