My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November 2021. Second scan did not show any secondary in February this year however twice he ended up in Hospice due to to suden episodes. Driest time he lost ability to stand up or deal with toilet issues. After some investigations he was put on insulin rather than ‘100’ other tablets but within few days at home developed delirium and had to go back for further checks etc. He was allowed home after a while on new insulin, sleeping tablets and morphine for pain. Initially his glucose count was very high and irrational. He los developed tummy pain and in the last 4 weeks back pain. His last scan early July show secondary cancer in two places in the liver and Brest bone. Therefore oncologist confirmed stage 4 cancer. I should add that my husband was not able to have surgery or agree to chemo due to his heart, circulation and debitéis illnesses. He lost a lot of weight but his vomiting is now more infrequent. I’m sore carer and I realise this is final stage without active medical intervention. He is now spending 90% of his time in bed and current strength of morphine doesn’t control pain very well. He is down and very sad but I try to keep positive in front of him as much as I can. Final stage of life was going to be in hospice rather than at home but I really don’t know how to recognise when this should be. I feel very lonely in all of this despite two grown up daughters and their kids. I don’t want to complain to them as they need to lead their lives and look after their kids. I wonder if there is anyone here in similar circumstances where patient has to suffer without being able to look for medical intervention. Would love to hear from anyone in my position.
Thank you so much for getting in touch at least I know I’m not alone. I get good help and advice from palliative care unit including hospice but keeping him ‘up’ 24/7 is hard. I will be contacting them tomorrow to increase morphine. He is on two tables a day at 5 mg with occasional top up of liquid 3 ml. I just want him to avoid pain if possible. Well that’s all I can do him at present. I feel helpless sometimes when I look at his sad face 
Lidia
