Holiday abroad

Hi Needing friends

I am sorry to hear that your partner now has ascites. 

You are not in any way a kill joy. You are being sensible but your partner probably doesn’t see it that way.

I don’t know if this little story might put some perspective on things. When my husband was hospitalised with ascites and other PC complications he asked  me to pay his annual fee to his professional body at the full rate. I suggested he should ask for the retired rate and he said he would do that next year. My point is that I think people in this situation cope by talking about the future as if it is still ‘normal’.

Your partner probably knows that he couldn’t go abroad but it might not do any harm to talk to him about where he’d like to go. I think in doing that he might realise he can’t go and solve this for himself.

It is hard going isn’t it? You are doing so well in supporting him.

Squeaky

Thanks squeaky, he is already wondering how much mobility scooters are to. Hire and feels hell be fine walking in the airport with a trolley to lean on. He really doesn't see why he should become unwell whilst we are away. I did phone an insurance broker yesterday and they asked for a doctors letter about being fit for travel. Being a coward I hope that the doctors can explain that it may not be wise. He is such a stubborn man he doesn't listen, if one door is closed he keeps going till he finds an open one. I understand his yearning to get away from it all and feel I want to support him but its going to be me trying to sort things out if he does need care in a different country. I don't relish the prospect thank you for showing me that this is a way of coping x

Hi  Needing Friends

I am in a similar position to yourself and your husband. My chemo finishes in 3 weeks and boy do we need a break. I feel quite good in myself but whilst somewhere abroad appears enticing our emphasis has veered towards a short break in the U K. In oxon we can get to for example the New Forest , the Forest of Dean and South Wales in pretty quick time and if anything goes wrong we shan't be far away from hospital care even my own hospital In oxford.

We think this small step may lead to wider horizons but the main benefit would be a change of scenery and an indication of how travel will affect him.

We went to Majorca before my pc came to light but my partner was recovering from an ankle operation. the assistance care at Birmingham and Palma airports was second to none and its free

Hope you can both come to a satisfactory decision

Best Wishes

Kevin

Did the hospital drain the ascites? Our experience was that if drained it was back within a few days.

i think you are right to ask the doctors whether your partner is fit to travel. You are not a coward. It’s perfectly reasonable to be cautious about travelling in these circumstances.

Squeaky

Hi there,  am backto business now as my old tablet died and I had to have a new one plumbed in so to speak. They didn't drain the ascites as they said the pockets weren't big enough. His feet are swollen but to be honest the swellings aren't getting any worse. The gp has told Ken to ask palliative care whether they think he's fit to travel, they are coming to see him tomorrow. Although he eats next to nothing he does seem fairly stable, it's amazing how you can manage on so little! I just wish I knew what to expect. There are times in the last few days when I almost forget that he is poorly, it's becoming a new normal it would seem

Hi Needing friends

That is sounding good. If the ascites is stable then draining shouldn’t be needed. Also good to hear that he is doing well. Let us know what the palliative team say about having a holiday. I hope your day goes well.

Squeaky

Hi Kevin, I hope you enjoy your mini break, as you say it may lead to further trips, maybe abroad! I suggested a nice weekend away in th UK but Ken says he just wants the sun. It's frustrating for me because I think he should focus more 9n what is possible rather than waiting for things that may not be possible. If we did get the doctors OK that he's fit for travel I don't know if we would get insurance and how much it will cost. If he did become unwell I don't relish trying to figure everything out where ever we end up. He was even thinking of spending 3 months abroad. I really don't know how I'll he is and he doesn't want to know how long he has. He gets so angry which I do understand and then I feel so guilty because if we did go I would dread it and he thinks I would find it relaxing,! Take care, pam x

There is a group titled Travel Insurance. Have a look on there,  you will find a link to travel insurance companies who others have find helpful.   It will give you an idea about cost, say you are going to Spain as an example.

I know what your partner means, I’d love a week in the sun but it’s unrealistic for me at the moment. If the weather brightens up we will rent a cottage, just to get away for a few days. 

Change  of scenery does you good

best wishes x