Hi everyone.
As the title above goes, I am feeling really guilty today, I'm feeling quite a mix of emotions recently yesterday I was angry and then weepy, (Ended up crying in the cinema watching Toy Story) I felt guilty yesterday, as I didn't visit my Grandma, however my Uncle and Dad went last night.
It's so hard watching her deteriorate, on Monday she was really unsteady on her legs.
We did have a nice day out on Sunday, the weather had cooled down a bit, and we managed to walk around the Gardens of a National Trust property and she really enjoyed it.
There are times when I'm ok and I feel like I'm coping, and others like yesterday when I just break down and cry. And then I feel selfish why should I be crying when its my poor Grandma who is going through is so bravely.
Sorry think I just needed a rant
Thanks
Hope.
Hello Hope
You should not feel guilty though this often happens when a loved one is ill. From what you say your Grandma is coping well with what is happening to her. You don't need to be there all the time. Just be there when you can.
You will find that your emotions change quite quickly but that's the way we deal with things.
Your post certainly wasn't a rant. We are all here to help each other.
Squeaky
Hi Squeaky,
Thank you for your kind reply, I think I'm wanting to be there for her all the time because I don't want to miss a precious moment with her, because I know all too soon that she will be taken away from us, by this cruel disease.
I am taking each day as it comes, and I know that there will be good and bad days, and to take the rough with the smooth.
I also know that I need to be strong and keep myself healthy, as I'm also trying to be there for my dad, my brother and my cousins, who are considerably younger than me, I feel as I'm the oldest I need to look after them and make sure that they are ok.
My Grandma wanted me and my cousin to do a reading when the day comes, however my cousin said that they didn't think they could do it, I want to do it though, and again as I am the oldest I feel that I should do it, as a final wish of my Grandma.
This forum is brilliant as it enables me to write down exactly how I am feeling, and not bottle it up and also to appreciate how everyone else is coping and going through.
How are things with you Squeaky?
Hope X
Hi Hope
Sorry if I'm butting in but I was skimming thru the groups and came across your latest post
My Mom died two years ago (all but a few days) and there was a lot of discussion about her funeral. My younger sister was a tad bullying and decided that all four children would read a verse of a "dementia poem"
In a later discussion with my Dad and the church minister, we decided that I would give a bible reading. Like youz I felt that, as the eldest, I had a duty to do that for my Mom (in your case for your Grandma)
If what you want to do at the funeral isn't meant to deliberately hurt someone ... go.ahead and do it
Hi Andy
Of course your not butting in, everyone is welcome.
Thank you, for your kind words, I am going to do it.
Hope.
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