Late night ramblings

Hello all. Good luck with the eye today, Vixen. Sedation certainly does make procedures easier! Hope you’re feeling a bit better, Pepys - where’s that baby? Maybe it doesn’t want to face Brexit! Hope everyone else here is well (or as well as can be) too.

very exciting day yesterday. Got to speak in front of a parliamentary committee discussing a report on pancreatic cancer called The Need for Speed (link if you’d like to read it https://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/media/1192155/5934_pcuk_appg_report_hr-4.pdf) It was released last year and has lots of excellent recommendations on speeding up the diagnosis and treatment of pancreatic cancer. I was invited to give a patoent’s perspective. Lots of positive talk but of course, nothing going forward as the government is completely in thrall to Brexit. Goodness knows what will happen afterwards. The country feels like it’s at a standstill which is no good for anybody. Anyway... my speech seemed to be well received and I ended up having a lovely chat with our chairman, Huw Edwards (the newsreader). Pleased to report he was an absolute gentleman, despite having a wee dig about the rugby! Even praised my Welsh pronunciation when I thanked him in Welsh. I said that was down to my husband’s teaching, not me! Was fascinating being inside te Parliiament buildings - very impressive. Would be easy to be intimidated by those surroundings but I just kept thinking “the MPs work FOR US - they are our public servants” and also the thought of my dear friend Lorna (Coconut on here) who died in the summer when her PC came back and would be urging me to “kick some ass!” So it was all fine.  

Wow, well done Kiwiwolf, sounds like you nailed it, thank you for speaking up for us xx

Thank you KiwiWolf, I am so glad that you were able to put forward the patients view, and hopefully highlight the dreadful survival statistics for pancreatic cancer. I will have a read later on,

Thank you!!

 Tilly xx

PS hope wolves are well xx

Good on you, KiwiWolf, I'd love to do that myself. A lot of prep needed, be proud! 

Tvman x

Hey Lady P & TVman & Squeaky & Kiwiwolf& co!! I'm out of breath after all those names! Where is everyone? I get nervous when it's this quiet. Any baby news Lady P? Any new 'goss on the street' anyone?

I know that i've been having a crap time at the mo. Since me ma died, i've been so emotional. I've realised there are many different forms of 'mental health' problems. Some of the residents in my building do push the limit of trying your patience. But some, i have alot of empathy with. I've been put on some bloody awful blood pressure pills, called propranolol. I'm on quite a high dose. (160mg a day). They're meant to be for high blood pressure & anxiety. The thing is. I think they're GIVING me anxiety. I was on my way to my mother's house the other day. Just to check it's ok. My bro & I are going to rent it out, as it's a hard time to sell at the mo. Anyway. i always find it so hard emotionally going there. I went last Sunday. A very grey, dark, wet day. I was on the tube. I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling i needed to cry. I had no control over my emotions. Luckily the tube was quite empty. I also felt a bit out of breath walking.i've also been feeling quite 'zombie esque'. I can't stand these pills. So i was reading online. Quite a few people feel the same. I'm slowly coming off them. I'm quite an emotional person anyway. But i feel this medication is taking away any control i did have. 

The operation i had on my right eye was great. No more bloody floaty things!!!!! Although the day after, i took my pirate eye patch off & i felt awful. The vision was shocking. Really bad double vision, i felt sick every time i tried to walk &  i was banging into things. So i had to go to bloody Moorfields within hours of taking off the patch. I waited 2 hrs (which is good!!) They were very thorough with their tests. As always & said it was just the anaesthetic. They were so right. The next day, my vision was so sharp & floaty free & sick free. Fantastic!!!The only thing is i've still got the Iritis in both eyes. Steroid eye drops in both eyes every 2 hrs. But that's fine. I'm used to that. I'm just so grateful for tge NHS. My bro lives in the States and it sounds like you need to take out a mortgage anytime you need any health care over there! 

Anyway. Hope everyone's ok & psyched up for the cold. Stay warm everyone. X 

Hi Vixen

I'm still here, just busy with appointments at hospital and the dentist too. 

So happy for you that the eye has been sorted. I have a couple of floaters in my right eye and the doctor said it's a normal thing, he has a couple himself. I remember that yours were quite bad so you must be well relieved. I love the NHS too, and I've read that lots of people in the States have to suffer because they can't afford the treatment. 

I can understand that you have periods of such sadness, you know it's probably depression. Poor mental health is not for hiding. Seek help. Try to do fun things. 

I'm very worried about Lady Pepys because I haven't heard anything from her since before the baby was due which was the 23rd November, it's not like her to be so quiet. I have pm'ed her but without response. Very worried. 

I'm watching a food programme on Channel 4 about trying to encourage people to eat kangaroo meat, and growing asparagus. 

Time for bed I think, it's 4.30!

Tvman xx 

Hi Vixen

I am glad the eye operation went well in the end.

The propranolol is a beta blocker and should be able to help with high blood pressure and anxiety but beta blockers can make you tired until you get used to them. Maybe another type would help.

i think it is natural to be sad when you have lost someone as close as you were to your Mum and going back to o,d places will trigger thoughts. I think this will get easier in due course.

i hope we hear from Lady P soon.

Squeaky

Hi Tvman & Squeaky. Thanks for the words of comfort. Means alot.

We all know how tirimg hospital appointments can be. I don't know why though. You're just sitting there!! But the stress of listening for your name & being annoyed by other people on their bloody mobiles can be really irritating. So you have to take a 'sanity kit' with you! You must take something to read, something to eat. It has to be something that's not too messy. (Incase they call your name mid bite!!) (Biscuits are good). I've got into shortbread. There's nothing like dunking 1 of those in your hot cup of tea. Lovely! Keeping hydrated is a must too. Hospital air conditioning really drys you out. So a bottle of water's a bit of a must. That's my 'coping kit'. 

I'm worried about Lady P too. But we all know what it's like when you're not feeling yourself. Maybe she's not in the mood to join in at the mo. I'm hoping she's just tired from being a lovely, fun granny/gran. The site seems a bit lost without Lady P. Maybe if we all shout her name, she'll come out & tell us about her chaotic life. Come on Lady P. We all miss you!! 'Mail' soon. x

Hi Vixen

i had a check up yesterday for the Breast Cancer I had four years ago. That’s how I first met Lady P online! There is limited parking and I got a space but I bashed my wing mirror on the way out. I managed to sort it. I only had to wait a short time. Results in a couple of weeks. 

Squeaky

Hi Squeaky. I'm so sick of hospitals. My arthritis is literally a pain. But like i've said before. It's not life threatening. My blood pressure rockets whenever i enter a hospital. So God knows how yours must be. I remember going to Mcmilllan's Hospital in Fitzrovia with me ma. The clinic was chaotic. The day before i'd been at mum's place. She looked so ill, was so tired. No energy or motivation. (Unlike her). I came downstairs & she was lying on tge floor, no cover with the fire on. She said she hoped they could help her. (Which again was unlike her). She looked so vulnerable. I was so scared. I'd never seen her like that. So i put a cover over her. I offered to help her upstairs. Or make a bed up on the sofa. But she just wanted to be left alone. I went back to my place for the night & met up with her at the hospital. I couldn't believe how great she looked. She told me she took a painkiller & felt quite a bit better. I was so relieved. Then we went into that bloody awful room & they told us the horrible news that she had a tumour. I ran out crying. But like i've said my mum was so strong & calm. She obviously knew there was something serious. But didn't want to worry me. 

That's added to my blood pressure rising when i'm in a hospital. 

I think Lady P was the first person to answer my first email on this lovely forum. I was on another one, bereaved family members. Something like tgat. Then i saw the headline. Late night ramblings. I thought that sounds like my kind of thing & Lady P appeared. Good luck with the test results. No wonder you had a 'prang'. All the emotional nerves must appear. Must be awful all those tests & waiting. I thought this was going to be a short email! I do hope Lady P's ok. I think we all have a soft spot for her. X