Feeling empty and lost

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Hello.

After 19 months of treatment for ovarian cancer including many rounds of chemotherapy a major surgery my wife (Alison, 63) was told a few days ago that there is nothing more that can be done and Alison is going into palliative care. We don't know how long she has.

I've been very up and down over last month's and living on hope which has allowed me to support Alison. She is the bedrock of our 40+ year marriage and I now feel so empty and lost at the thought of her not being there. This makes me feel very selfish at a time she needs me most and then I feel guilty. Alison is a very strong person who wants to know everything about what is happening in terms of treatment and outcomes and can then cope. When she has been upset I've been there for her. 

I just felt I needed to post this and chat to others in a similar situation. Thank you x