Found out today about best friend

Take your lead from your friend. Offer your help but ask her how she would prefer you to help. Your own experience may be helpful to her, though all cancer journeys are highly individual. Ovarian cancer can be a pretty grim disease depending on staging, so will be worth getting her take on that without being too intrusive. Also take care of yourself as dealing with someone else's cancer can trigger stuff. 

Thank you.

It sort of 'hit me' yesterday.

Appreciate your reply x

Hey, there seems to me to be no rule book about coping with a life changing diagnosis for yourself or indeed someone close that you know. Having been thrown into this whirlwind recently I am finding that some things are useful/beneficial and others may be not so, or may be more so at certain times than others! So all very much live and act day by day cos you don't know how you are going to feel going forwards. And everyone will have their own way of wanting to deal with it and communicating with others.

I have read on this forum some people who have experienced negative reactions from friends/family in response to cancer diagnosis or ongoing situations. Some of this I feel may come out of ignorance by people who have no or little direct experience. I am sure you will work out with your friend how you both will be able to support each other in the best ways.

My experience with my partner so far is a mix of wanting to know a bunch of factual stuff about the disease/treatment etc and discussing this together, simply crying together, discussing other issues such as finances, trying to still do some couple things together, but also allowing individual 'me' time too for both of us. One thing I want to ensure is that my partner doesn't drown in this rubbish that is happening and is able to escape sometimes from it. That is about the only bit of control that I can exercise at the moment!

Thank you.

Shes dealing with her initial diagnosis differently to me.i accept  thats how it is, im at the end of the phone should she want to talk and thats that.

Ive found the same as you, controlling what i can eases my anxiety about myself however i try and keep it in a locked box and get it out out when i have, like in ct scans / appointments etc as i dont want it controlling me.

I have had negative responses over the past too.dont really discuss indetail anymore apart from hubby, daughters and this bestfriend.she told me on day 1 with no detail and ive interpreted  it as shes not really saying . Currently im giving her space with her family to accept the situation at her request until shes ready to talk.

This cancer malarky is such an ' individual journey', no right of wrong.we all deal with it the best we can.

Wishing you all the best to you and your partner

She has gone through 3 rounds of chemo and had a ct scan to see if shrunk.it has but not enough to operate.so going to have another 3 then assess.

Can anyone help as to tell me what might happen if they cant? 

Hello there 

How are you going on !

   I have finished my pre chemo and not had one effect....sailed thro it.

   Misunderstood a doctors line in a letter as no surgery but he meant possibly no surgeries in certain circumstances and I thought he meant me .

I no longer deal with anyine but my consultant for mutually coherent conversations ....hes a great chap and the best!

   My ca125 have reduced and reduced and reduced ....not one effect from chemo ....came home went shopping cycling dud yoga and pilates. 

     He said ..blimey this is wonderful !!

     Altho I am NOT taking this for granted .

    Hurling big heavy shopping bags ...and alsorts .

      In no pain never was ...doing a pula marvelously. 

     People scared me to death at first .

   Chemo isnt like cheniblebor a nuclear fall out you know .

      I got everyone talking in chemo ward .

       No complaints 

My motto is 

 SO FAR SO GOOD !!!

     hope youre ok ! 

...

Ps.....and hair still on head 

  I have the cold cap !

Its like having serious  brain freeze with a solid cold walls strawberry mivi for a short initial time but has worked !!!!

Pps ....next stage FILLETING !!

      Although its all serious and dangerous you have to be as realistically optimistic as you can !

    No one believes me that i have stage 4a ovarian cancer with peritineal cassimatosis .

      In fact a few have said how terrible to make up you have cancer .

    NOWTHEN !!!

I told my oncologist and she told me that sadly when you are like yourself this happens .

      Ive had texts from people saying alsorts ...and that did I know some people genuinely do have stage 4 a ovarian cancer ...???

Thats when I reply saying ...

 YES !!! I know as I have it !!

   They then say 

How absolutely terrible to make out you have cancer when you obviously have not !!!

    Imagine this eh !!!!!

Plus.....I had plural effusion and my right lung collapsed but I was told to go out and enjoy the sunshine and not overthink ....I dragged myself to my first chemo and all hell let loose !!!!!

      Id worked and carried on with a right lung full of almost 3 litres of liquid !!!

         I had to stay in hospital for 2 weeks 2 days !

   I had my first chemo as an inpatient on the last day !

       I knew something wasnt right !

       "Go out and enjoy the sunshine and stop overthinking "

    Well blimey eh !!!