Grandma

’m really sorry you’re going through this — what you’re feeling is completely valid. When someone so deeply loved is suddenly facing something as terrifying as cancer, especially when it comes out of nowhere, it shakes everything. The fear, the anger, the helplessness — it all comes rushing in, and it’s overwhelming.

You’re angry because you love her. Because she means everything. Because none of this makes sense, especially when she’s always been healthy and full of life. That rage you’re feeling? It’s grief and fear in disguise. And it’s okay to feel it.

It’s also okay to feel broken watching your family — your mam, dad, and grandad — hurting so much. Sometimes it’s almost harder watching the people you love suffer emotionally than it is going through something yourself. You’re all in this together, even if everyone is carrying it differently.

The not knowing — the waiting for treatment plans and scans — is its own kind of torture. But there will be a plan. There are treatments, even when cancer has spread. People do live meaningful time — sometimes even longer than expected — with advanced cancer, depending on many factors. Try not to write the ending yet. Right now, she’s still here. And she still needs you.

You don’t have to hold it together or pretend to be okay. Let yourself cry. Let yourself scream if you need to. Talk to someone — even if it’s just to say “I don’t know how to keep going.” You don’t have to have the answers. Just take it one hour, one day at a time.

Thank you so much, I’m crying reading this. You have helped so much.