Hi,
I’m just looking for someone to talk to.
My partner is 28. He has palpable lymph nodes in his neck and under his jaw on both sides as well as a new lump in his groin. He had an ultrasound of his neck and collarbone a few months ago, which they said they were all normal looking and just reactive.
They started hurting him and with the development of the groin lump, he went back to the doctor’s a couple of weeks ago. They did blood tests and they were normal but his immunoglobulins were higher than normal. He also noticed that his lumps tend to hurt after alcohol. He also has itching on his legs and sometimes night sweats which he told the doctor about. He has been referred to Haematology and I’m so worried.
I used to work in Oncology (non-clinical) but my mind still tends to spiral. I’m really worried and I just don’t know what to say to him. I know he’s worried too. I’m really worried about him. I really just think that he has cancer as I can’t help myself, I’m always googling things. I also feel like I’ve noticed that he looks unwell recently, even though he says he feels OK. I really don’t know what we will do if he does have cancer. I don’t want to make it all about me of course, but I’m currently unemployed and he’s the breadwinner. I also recently started treatment for depression. I’m worried about what will happen to him and us if he is unwell.
I'm going to go with him for his first appointment as long as I’m allowed to. I think I’m spiralling and I obviously want to be there for him, but I don’t know what to do or say to make him feel better. I wish they would’ve taken the lumps more seriously before as they knew about his itching and night sweats back then.
I just needed to get it all out. Sorry for that.
Hi daydreamer26 and a very warm welcome to this corner of the Community but I am sorry to see you joining us and to hear your concerns about your partner.
I am Mike and I help out around our various Lymphoma groups.
For context I have been on my Lymphoma journey for over 26 years first diagnosed way back in 1999 at 43……. when my first rare (8 in a million) ‘incurable’ but treatable slow growing Low-Grade Cutaneous T-Cell Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (NHL) was found.
I eventually reached Stage 4a in Oct 2013 when a second, also rare (4 in a million) type of very aggressive High-Grade Peripheral T-Cell NHL was then presenting so I most definitely appreciate the challenges of this journey rather well.
The initial encouragement you should be getting from my first few paragraphs is that even the toughest of the 60 types and sub-types of Lymphoma are very treatable and here I am talking to you 26 years on, turned 70 last Nov and I am living life to the full.
The stress of this is not conducive to feeling healthy…. not accounting for the possibilities of there being Lymphoma Symptoms…..
Stay away from random Google searches as this in itself is a stress generator….. you will get 1000s of links and it just confuses you.
For good, accurate and up to date information stick to the Lymphoma Action website
Lymphoma Action is the UKs main Lymphoma charity and their website has lots of good reliable information, videos..... basically all things Lymphoma....... pre, during and post treatment.
All the links I use are taken directly from their website and I have volunteered with them about as long as I have with Macmillan……
Getting prepared for the Heamatology appointment is very important….. so the links below will help you both to get ready for that appointment.
Top tips for getting the best from your appointments
Questions to ask your medical team about lymphoma
He may not get any clarity at the appointment and you must expect for other Diagnosis tests to be organised like a CT and/or PET scan and most importantly a biopsy as this in itself is the main diagnostic tool…… I have never had a blood tests that highlighted Lymphoma….. but indications as to something not being right.
Controlling the noise between the ears is important so this link will help you with that….
Top tips for managing anxiety around tests and procedures
The main thing to keep as part of ongoing g conversations is that if he has Lymphoma it is very treatable with good outcomes……. even a stage 4 Lymphoma diagnosis is not seen as an issue….. the Lymphoma world is very different from sold tumour cancers…… to the point that some types of slow growing Lymphoma are seen as a chronic health condition and treated as and when required.
Cancer is a debilitating world…… and can throw up some negative thoughts about the future….. but this is Lymphoma.
Any other questions just ask ((hugs))
