Hello, my partner had a large freckle on his face checked 7 years ago for cancer and it came back clear, he had a scab that never cleared up and that came back as non melanoma. Fast forward to sept/Oct last yr something very small started to grow out of the large freckle, it was small and by end December it had got quite big. So he finally got it checked, they have cut it out and done a biopsy, ybe dr said she suspects it is nodular melanoma. This was 3,4 weeks ago. All of a sudden last week he had a call to say he needs to go for a ct scan, on Monday which was a bit of a shock as after the biopsy we hadn't heard anything so we naively thought maybe everything was OK. He asked why he was being sent for a ct scan and could someone call him back, he had a call and she said it is melanoma and the it is a spreadable form so we're checking if it's spread, he has now had the ct and on Saturday he is going for a mri. Today he has a appointment with the plastic surgeon team, but honestly we don't know much at all. I googled( i know i shouldnt) i just can't help it, and it seems nodular is the most dangerous. And honestly i am so terrified, we have 3 young children, our youngest is 2 and was born with cystic fibrosis so I already have health anxiety from that. I can't stop crying, I am just so so scared! I can't even say the words out loud, but im terrified of the worst outcome.
Hi Coco40 and a very warm welcome to the group which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and I was diagnosed with melanoma 8 years ago and can remember how scary being told I had cancer was.
It's natural to assume the worst but treatment for melanoma has come on in leaps and bounds and now there are all sorts of treatments available if your partner's melanoma has spread from the original site. Just a note here to say that all melanoma has the potential to spread.
How did your partner get on at his appointment with the plastic surgeon yesterday? When I saw the plastic surgeon it was to discuss the wide local excision (WLE) and sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB) I was due to have. The WLE is standard treatment for everyone who has melanoma and the SLNB is offered if the melanoma is above a certain depth. I've had both ops so I'm happy to share my experiences of these if you want to know more.
When you feel up to it, it would be great if you could put something about your partner's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Do come back and let us know how he got on with the CT and MRI scans.
((hugs))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Rachel/Coco40
My WLE and SLNB happened over two days. On the first day I had a lymphoscintigraphy which identified the location of the sentinel lymph node in my armpit, in your partner's case it will identify the one in his neck that they will remove. This involved having a radio active dye injected as close as possible to the site of the original melanoma. I then had to lie on a couch while they passed a machine over me. This machine watched to see which sentinel lymph node the dye went to. This would be the one that was removed the following day.
The second day was the WLE and SLNB. Having never had any surgery before, let alone a general anaesthetic, I was nervous but everyone was very good, explaining what was happening and it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd imagined. One minute I was lying there thinking the anaesthetic wasn't working and the next minute I was waking up in the recovery ward. Several hours had passed but I wasn't aware.
I was able to go home that afternoon, once I'd eaten something, spent a penny and proved that I could stand unaided!
I was advised to take paracetamol and ibuprofen every few hours whether I felt in pain or not for the first couple of days. I followed these instructions, your partner may be given different ones, and when I stopped taking them I just felt a bit of discomfort rather than any pain.
I went back to see plastic surgeon two weeks after the operations for him to check everything was okay and to get my results. He was pleased with how everything was healing and, more importantly, neither the WLE or SLNB showed any signs of melanoma. Yippee!!! Final staging was Stage 2a.
The scar from the WLE was unsightly for quite a while but now you can barely see it. I did find that it took quite a while for the feeling to return to both sites though.
The melanoma had not spread to my lymph nodes so I then had three monthly check-ups for three years followed by six monthly check-ups for two years. When I was diagnosed with melanoma having CT and MRI scans wasn't part of the normal protocol so your partner is lucky that it now is.
Does your partner have a date for his operations yet?
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Unfortunately, waiting around is one of the things that comes with a cancer diagnosis. Everyone's treatment is tailormade to their personal circumstances so it's important that the hospital team have a full picture before deciding what to do.
Your partner being calm about it is good as no amount of worrying will change the outcome but it will ruin the present.
It was about 10 weeks for me between being told I had melanoma and having the WLE and SLNB. During this time you need to keep yourself occupied so that you have less time to think about the 'what if's'. I guess with 3 young children you have plenty to keep you occupied anyway 
Although this article is aimed at the patient, you might find it helpful to read as it talks about how to ease worry when waiting for results.
You might also like to join the carers only group where you can chat to others who have a family member living with cancer. If this is something that you'd like to do, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
I hope your partner is able to cope with his next MRI. I haven't had this but could imagine it could be quite scary if you suffer from claustrophobia.
Let us know how he gets on
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
