Daughter with stage 4 - just wanted to stop in

Hi, I’m currently undergoing treatment for stage 3 Melanoma. On the same week that I was diagnosed, my dad also got diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer that had spread significantly. The hardest part for me has been seeing the toll it is all taking on my mum, as she attends all appointments with us both and worries herself sick.

i can only imagine what yourself and your daughter are going through, it’s completely understandable that your daughter has tried to escape her situation, but by turning to substances, is making her health and current situation worse. This must also be massively adding to your anxiety and worries.

As difficult as it feels just now, you must try and look after yourself physically and mentally.

I’ve not been on this group for long, but I’ve found everyone to be supportive and happy to listen.

I really hope everything works out well for your daughter and for yourself x

Yes, I can relate, though at a different stage. And what a difficult process it all is. At stage 4 then the brain can be affected in ways that make it harder for your daughter to beat all this and I am sending you both a lot of love and sympathy. There is melanoma running through our family also and that too is tough. The thing I hope most is that you are able to spend some loving moments with your daughter – not sure if you are allowed to visit if she is currently an in-patient. But, I hope that you are able to spend time together and my thoughts are very much with you at this incredibly difficult and testing time. Sadly, both the withdrawal symptoms and the brain issues are a horrid complication. It really is beyond what most people can imagine.Sending healing and caring thoughts filled with love. Xx

Thank you for your kind words.  I am trying my best to remain positive.  My father also has stage 4 prostate cancer, and my mom was his caregiver and she sadly passed away suddenly, so I am trying my best to take care of my father too, though I have the help on two siblings.   

Somedays it is just overwhelming... 

Thank you again.

Thank you so much Rosalinda, yes I actually get to visit her today after 6 weeks, so I am very happy about that.  Just an hour, but I will take it.  

Sending healing and positive thoughts to you on your journey.  

Yes, this must feel quite overwhelming as if what you had to deal with as regards your daughter wasn't overwhelming enough... How I feel for you! Also, I meant to echo what celtictaz19 said about self-care etc because it is so important you find time for yourself at this time also. What a lot you have to balance here... I really hope today's visit with your daughter goes well. You and your family are very much in my thoughts today. Sending a massive virtual hug as well as healing thoughts etc. Do take care. Xx

I think I just replied to the wrong post (doh!) but I did want to echo what celtictaz19 said. Can I also add that if you need you can call the Macmillan helpline for emotional support whenever it's open and you need it – dealing with two relatives with advanced cancers simultaneously is so horribly tough. And my condolences  on the sudden passing of your mother. (Apologies for being very scatty today – we got a bereavement this week re first-degree relative ourselves and another got stage 4 cancer ... it never rains but pours sometimes, I feel.) Xx

Ooo my lovely x 

I’m just going to send you a huge hug, you have no other option but to keep putting one foot in front of the other ….. it’s shit but true….. try hard to smile, and look for the little things in life that bring you happiness…. Even if it’s a daisy in the grass! I won’t tell you about my soap opera real life dramas, with all its shit but I do try to smile A LOT! 

It must have been a very difficult visit and I can't imagine where your emotions are right now. Am sending a virtual hug to let you know you are in my thoughts. x